Helen Rowland
Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.Collection: Jealousy
A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.Collection: Dating
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.Collection: Marriage
A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.Collection: Wedding
Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.Collection: Wedding
A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.Collection: Moving
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.Collection: Trust
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.Collection: Love
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.Collection: Marriage
After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.Collection: Marriage
Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.Collection: Chance
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.Collection: Faith
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.Collection: Marriage
It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.Collection: Marriage
The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.Collection: Imagination
You will never win if you never begin.Collection: Motivational
Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.Collection: Home
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.Collection: Marriage
One man's folly is another man's wife.Collection: Funny
Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.Collection: Marriage
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.Collection: Love
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.Collection: Sarcastic
A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.Collection: Beautiful
A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.Collection: Men
True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity.Collection: Love Is
A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her.Collection: Relationship
A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.Collection: Funny
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.Collection: Funny
A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.Collection: Wise
Eve had one advantage over all the rest of her sex. In his wildest moments of rage Adam never could accuse her of being 'just like her mother!Collection: Mother
When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.Collection: Heart
A man always mistakes a woman's clinging devotion for weakness, until he discovers that it requires the strength of Samson, the patience of Job, and the finesse of Solomon to untwine it.Collection: Jobs
A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.Collection: Running
When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.Collection: Marriage
Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite -- everything seems so flat and tasteless.Collection: Love Is
Many men kill themselves for love, but many more women die of itCollection: Men
A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.Collection: Men
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.Collection: Funny
Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.Collection: Jest
Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?Collection: Men
The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.Collection: Funny
Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.Collection: Love
No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.Collection: Men
Soft, sweet things with a lot of fancy dressing - that's what a little boy loves to eat and a grown man prefers to marry.Collection: Love
Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.Collection: Love
Never worry for fear you have broken a man's heart; at the worst it is only sprained and a week's rest will put it in perfect working condition again.Collection: Heart
A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.Collection: Maturity
Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers.Collection: Men
In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.Collection: Funny Love
Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.Collection: Love