François Lelord
Finding love is a fixation now, and that's because although romantic love can sometimes cause a lot of suffering, it can also give people peaks of happiness that come very close to our ideal of 'the happy state.'Collection: Romantic
Very different from eros is philia, a serene love much more akin to friendship, with its reciprocal kindnesses. You love each other for the happy experiences and pleasures you share.Collection: Friendship
I didn't intend 'Hector' to be a self-help book when I first started writing. I wrote it as a little tale about a psychiatrist, like me, who sets off around the world in order to discover the vital ingredients for happiness.
Eros is not tranquil - it gives us spikes of happiness rather than a constant feeling of wellbeing. It's the love we feel at the beginning of a love affair and corresponds to the expression 'falling in love' since it is as involuntary an impulse as a physical fall.
Sometimes happiness is not knowing the whole story.Collection: Knowing
He who spends too long regretting his ruined crop will be neglect to plant next year's harvest.Collection: Regret
Lesson no. 17: Happiness is caring about the happiness of those you love.Collection: Caring
Be vary wary of people who declare that they're going to create heaven on earth, they almost invariably create hell.Collection: People
Many people see happiness only in their future.Collection: People
Happiness. We're tearing our hair out to try to find a definition of it, for heaven's sake. Is it joy? People will tell you that it isn't, that joy is a fleeting emotion, a moment of happiness, which is always welcome, mind you. And then what about pleasure, huh? Oh, yes, that's easy, everybody knows what that is, but there again it doesn't last. But is happiness not the sum total of lots of small joys and pleasures, huh?Collection: Hair
It is love that transports us, that fills us with joy! Love turns life into one long adventure, every encounter is a dazzling experience - well, not always, of course, but in actual fact, it is our less successful love affairs that enable us to appreciate the others. I think love protects us from one of the biggest problems facing the modern world: boredom.Collection: Adventure
We fall in love or stay in love with people who are unsuitable or who no longer love us and, conversely, we feel no love towards people who would be very suitable. Love is involuntary, that's the problem. Our personal histories prepare us to be attracted to people who unconsciously evoke emotions from our childhood or adolescence.Collection: Falling In Love
Knowing and feeling are two different things, and feeling is what counts.Collection: Two
Many people think that happiness comes from having more power or more money.Collection: Thinking
Nobody wants to live with a person who'll never be happy.Collection: Want
It's one thing thinking something and another thing knowing it.Collection: Thinking
Happiness often comes when least expected.Collection: Searching For Happiness
People fall in love more easily when they are already troubled by another emotion because we know that any intense emotional state greatly increases the risk of falling in love.Collection: Falling In Love
And, like poor Phaedra, we fall in love not with who we want to fall in love with, but with one who moves us, and sometimes it is the last person we should fall in love with. Our involuntary choice is not always the right one, and sometimes it is actually the worst one, hence our suffering. And then, of course, there is the completely different situation of the loving people where, over the years, the love they once felt for each other fades and they can't go on. They feel their love dying, but are unable to bring it back to life.Collection: Falling In Love
You must be careful when you ask people whether they’re happy; it’s a question that can upset them a great deal.Collection: People
The basic mistake people make is to think that happiness is the goal!Collection: Mistake
Making comparisons can spoil your happiness.Collection: Searching For Happiness
Eros is not tranquil-it gives us spikes of happiness rather than a constant feeling of wellbeing. It's the love we feel at the beginning of a love affair and corresponds to the expression 'falling in love' since it is as involuntary an impulse as a physical fall.Collection: Falling In Love