Douglas William Jerrold
Love's like the measles - all the worse when it comes late in life.Collection: Love
Marriage is like wine. It is not be properly judged until the second glass.Collection: Marriage
We love peace, but not peace at any price.Collection: Peace
Religion's in the heart, not in the knees.Collection: Religion
The only athletic sport I ever mastered was backgammon.Collection: Sports
The sharp employ the sharp.Collection: Leadership
Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens.Collection: Happiness
Some people are so fond of ill luck that they run halfway to meet it.
He was so benevolent, so merciful a man that, in his mistaken passion, he would have held an umbrella over a duck in a shower of rain.
A coquette is like a recruiting sergeant, always on the lookout for fresh victims.
The best thing I know between France and England is the sea.
Fortunes made in no time are like shirts made in no time; it's ten to one if they hang long together.
The surest way to hit a woman's heart is to take aim kneeling.
In this world truth can wait; she is used to it.
There is peace more destructive of the manhood of living man than war is destructive of his material body.
A conservative is a man who will not look at the new moon out of respect for that 'ancient institution' the old one.
Earth is here so kind, that just tickle her with a hoe and she laughs with a harvest.Collection: Funny
After all there is something about a wedding-gown prettier than in any other gown in the world.Collection: Love
It takes all sorts of people to make a world.Collection: People
Not peace at any price! Chains are worse than bayonets.Collection: Peace
Patience is the strongest of strong drinks; for it kills the giant despair.Collection: Patience
The language of women should be luminous, but not voluminous.Collection: Language
Rogues are prone to find things before they are lost.Collection: Rogues
The sharp employ the sharp; verily, a man may be known by his attorney.Collection: Men
Even the worse of jobs has their pleasures, if I were a grave digger or a hangmen, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.Collection: Jobs
Reputations, like beavers and cloaks, shall last some people twice the time of others.Collection: People
If slander be a snake, it is a winged one - it flies as well as creeps.Collection: Snakes
A blessed companion is a book! A book that, fitly chosen, is a life-long friend. A book — the unfailing Damon to his loving Pythias. A book that — at a touch — pours its heart into our own.Collection: Book
Modesty is a bright dish-cover, which makes us fancy there is something very nice underneath it.Collection: Nice
Self-defense is the clearest of all laws; and for this reason - the lawyers didn't make it.Collection: Self
Man owes two solemn debts--one to society, and one to-nature. It is only when he pays the second that he covers the first.Collection: Men
Keep your eyes and ears open, if you desire to get on in the world.Collection: Eye
Love the sea? I dote upon it--from the beach.Collection: Beach
A man never so beautifully shows his own strength as when he respects a woman's softness.Collection: Men
Quality, not quantity, is my measure.Collection: Quality Not Quantity
Etiquette has no regard for moral qualities.Collection: Quality
That questionable superfluity small beer.Collection: Beer
A man is in no danger so long as he talks his love; but to write it is to impale himself on his own pothooks.Collection: Writing
Intemperance is the epitome of every crime, the cause of every kind of misery.Collection: Causes
I would like to have a second chance at my first love.Collection: First Love
Fix yourself upon the wealthy. In a word, take this for a golden rule through life: Never, never have a friend that is poorer than yourself.Collection: Friendship
Grumblers deserve to be operated upon surgically; their trouble is usually chronic.Collection: Grumbling
God said, "Let us make man in our image." Man said, 'Let us make God in our image.Collection: God
Humor is the harmony of the heart.Collection: Heart
There are a good many pious people who are as careful of their religion as of their best service of china, only using it on holy occasions, for fear it should get chipped or flawed in working-day wear.Collection: People
Wishes, at least, are the easy pleasures of the poor.Collection: Wish
Gravity is more suggestive than convincing.Collection: Gravity
I never hear the rattling of dice that it does not sound to me like the funeral bell of the whole family.Collection: Gambling
If an earthquake were to engulf England tomorrow, the English would manage to meet and dine somewhere among the rubbish, just to celebrate the event.Collection: Earthquakes