Doug Larson
The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.Collection: Birthday
Democracy is a system that gives people a chance to elect rascals of their own choice.Collection: People
Achieving it is not only the chief means of adding to your regular duties.Collection: Mean
Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.Collection: News
A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's all about.Collection: Life
Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane.Collection: Memories
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.Collection: Inspirational
Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring.Collection: Spring
One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.Collection: Nice
People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.Collection: Funny
What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high.Collection: Mistake
Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.Collection: Funny
A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life.Collection: Empty Life
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.Collection: Children
Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.Collection: Family
The trouble with the last snowfall of the season is that you can't be sure.Collection: Snow
Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.Collection: Grandma
There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number.Collection: Wrong Number
They should have picked a different city to name after a man who reputedly never told a lie.Collection: Lying