Brian Posehn
I was just surprised when my wife told me we were having a baby. I was like, Wow, that's awesome. You're going to make a great single mom.Collection: Mom
Grew up in a small town where there was only one crazy guy. He didn't even go insane doing anything good, like going to 'Nam or having an extended acid trip. Turns out - legend has it - he just had some bad cheese.Collection: Crazy
I also smoke a lot of pot, occasionally, every day.Collection: Pot
Good comedy makes you laugh, and bad comedy makes people you hate laugh.Collection: Hate
Turns out, theres not a lot of information about pickles on the Internet.Collection: Information
Just got a new car - got a little Miata convertible. Pretty happy about it, except for one thing: I'm 6-foot-6, so now I look like a McDonald's toy.Collection: Mcdonalds
I love metal songs about metal. That's one of my favorite things. Nobody does that any more. Nobody sings about how metal they are, or about their fans, or about how crazy their pits are.Collection: Song
Guys don't do that when they go out. Guys don't wear outfits that feature the dong.Collection: Guy
When I'm late it matters, but when everybody else is late it doesn't matter... If that's the rule then just write it down and then I know, you know... I'll read it and I'll write it down on my balls. Right here. Right here on the back of my balls is where I'll write it. On the very back. I'll just lift them and write it nicely.Collection: Writing
Always been a big heavy metal fan. I remember being 15 saying, Dude I'm going to love heavy metal forever. Heavy metal til I'm 60. I'm 35 now. I think I'm going to give it one more year.Collection: Thinking
I got into Kiss before I got into anybody. The first thing I heard was Detroit Rock City. I heard it in the school library, where I lived.Collection: School
I don't know if I was a poseur - I really did love metal, always - but I gave a lot of other things a chance. I wanted to meet, um, girls, so I would check out Depeche Mode. But mostly I wanted stuff with pentagrams and crowns of thorns on it.Collection: Girl