Top Humorous Quotes Collection - Page 2
Discover a curated collection of Humorous quotes. Find inspiration, motivation, and wisdom from the best quotes in this category. Page 2 provides more Humorous quotes.
The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters.Collection: Humorous
Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.Collection: Humorous
The metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards.Collection: Humorous
The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to determine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).Collection: Humorous
As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.Collection: Humorous
Tax reform means, "Don't tax you, don't tax me. Tax that fellow behind the tree."Collection: Humorous
San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.Collection: Humorous
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.Collection: Humorous
Get your mind unbound and free; and then from the loosest, highest, best place you have, with the fastest and most humorous mind you can get together, you can reach out and make a try at understanding Spirit.Collection: Humorous
Beer does not make itself properly by itself. It takes an element of mystery and of things that no one can understand.Collection: Humorous
It's remarkable - most remarkable, the way these people manage, from time to time, a tragedy or a near-tragedy to break the even tenor of their ways,' said Mr. Tingley, in a tone of half-humorous superiority, by which he considered that he distinguished himself, subtly and inoffensively, from 'these people.Collection: Humorous
Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.Collection: Humorous
I drew pictures for and about the soldiers because I knew what their life was like and understood their gripes. I wanted to make something out of the humorous situations which come up even when you don't think life could be any more miserable.Collection: Humorous
And this is a table ma'am. What in essence it consists of is a horizontal rectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical columnar supports, which we call legs. The tables in this laboratory, ma'am, are as advanced in design as one will find anywhere in the world.Collection: Humorous
I wanted to do an hour-long show, and I wanted to something that was dramatic and sometimes funny and humorous, as well. I'm just delighted to have this opportunity to be a part of this project.Collection: Humorous
The only way to lose weight is to check it as airline baggage.Collection: Humorous
Unless you're writing for a humorous effect, elves or space aliens and all creatures who aren't human should at least be as strange as, oh, the French.Collection: Humorous
The pitcher wound up and he flang the ball at the batter. The batter swang and missed. The pitcher flang the ball again and this time the batter connected. He hit a high fly right to the center fielder. The center fielder was all set to catch the ball, but at the last minute his eyes were blound by the sun and he dropped it.Collection: Humorous
Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.Collection: Humorous
Several large, artificial constructions are approaching us, ZORAC announced after a short pause. The designs are not familiar, but they are obviously the products of intelligence. Implications: we have been intercepted deliberately by a means unknown, for a purpose unknown, and transferred to a place unknown by a form of intelligence unknown. Apart from the unknowns, everything is obvious.Collection: Humorous
The profoundly humorous writers are humorous because they are responsive to the hopeless, uncouth, concatenations of life.Collection: Humorous
I'm just trying to portray what I find ironic or humorous.Collection: Humorous
Be comfortable with who you are', reads the headline on the Hush Puppies poster. Are they mad? If people were comfortable with who they were, they'd never buy any products except the ones they needed, and then where would the advertising industry be?Collection: Humorous
The great themes of Canadian history are as follows: Keeping the Americans out, keeping the French in, and trying to get the Natives to somehow disappear.Collection: Humorous
Many Canadian nationalists harbour the bizarre fear that should we ever reject royalty, we would instantly mutate into Americans, as though the Canadian sense of self is so frail and delicate a bud, that the only thing stopping it from being swallowed whole by the US is an English lady in a funny hat.Collection: Humorous
The first word you see at the airport is 'terminal'.Collection: Humorous
A unit of documentation. There are always three or more on a given item. One is on the shelf; someone has the others. The information you need is in the others.Collection: Humorous
In my serious work I am striving for the essence of things and for goals which are possibly unobtainable. On the other hand, everything humorous has great attraction for me, and a childish streak leads me into all kinds of frivolous endeavour.Collection: Humorous
Subversive, ethical, ecological, political, humorous ... this is how I see my duty as a designer.Collection: Humorous
I think it would be totally inappropriate for me to even contemplate what I am thinking about.Collection: Humorous
Black. Simply remove all the little colored stickers on the cube, and each of side of the cube will now be the original color of the plastic underneath - black. According to the instructions, this means the puzzle is solved.Collection: Humorous
The brussels sprout. This is also the worst vegetable of next year.Collection: Humorous
August. The lines are the shortest, though.Collection: Humorous
To be a colored man in America ... and enjoy it, you must be greatly daring, greatly stolid, greatly humorous and greatly sensitive. And at all times a philosopher.Collection: Humorous
A formal parsing algorithm should not always be used.Collection: Humorous
You sit back in the darkness, nursing your beer, breathing in that ineffable aroma of the old-time saloon: dark wood, spilled beer, good cigars, and ancient whiskey - the sacred incense of the drinking man.Collection: Humorous
How much does it cost to entice a dope-smoking UNIX system guru to Dayton?Collection: Humorous
A bulldog can whip a skunk, but sometimes it's not worth it.Collection: Humorous
In the world of human thought generally, and in physical science particularly, the most important and fruitful concepts are those to which it is impossible to attach a well-defined meaning.Collection: Humorous
I'm not a robot; I have a personality and I have emotions. I have a humorous side to me and an angry side to me.Collection: Humorous
You cant be a casual observer of something humorous - you have to engage, you have to find it funny for the relationship between actor and audience to work.Collection: Humorous
You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night," "For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to alive person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you.Collection: Humorous
I'll have another beer. I'm not driving.Collection: Humorous
The beaver, which has come to represent Canada as the eagle does the United States and the lion Britain, is a flat-tailed, slow-witted, toothy rodent known to bite off it's own testicles or to stand under its own falling trees.Collection: Humorous
Playing on stereotypes was meant to be humorous. If it doesn't tickle you in certain spots, it's not going to be funny. Falling down the stairs is a seriously dangerous thing, but watching it is HILARIOUS!Collection: Humorous
Possibly the only thing we Notekillers place on a higher pedestal than music is laughs, so, of course, we also know that the idea of the title is a kind of humorous futility.Collection: Humorous
I tried to think but nothing happened!Collection: Humorous
The humorous man recognizes that absolute purity, absolute justice, absolute logic and perfection are beyond human achievement and that men have been able to live happily for thousands of years in a state of genial frailty.Collection: Humorous
Modern medicine is a negation of health. It isn't organised to serve human health, but only itself, as an institution. It makes more people sick than it heals.Collection: Humorous