I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to eraseCollection: Writing
I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like thatCollection: Mean
Comedy clubs are a bit more expensive. That's the problem with some of these places. But the flipside of that is, if you do too many shows for free or $5, then people don't understand why you can't fly to Milwaukee and do a show for a $3 cover. That won't even pay for my flight.Collection: People
Sometimes they're all collectively thinking, "Wow, we're kinda a shitty audience," and then if you point it out, it's kinda like, "Hey, I know what's going on. We know what's going on up here. Or what's not going on. And I'm letting you know that I know. And now we can fix this."Collection: Thinking
I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be when I startedCollection: Would Be
I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stageCollection: Monday
I haven't done a lot in London. I think comedy over there is how it was over here years ago. There's tons of it, and they're better paid.Collection: Thinking
The problem with a lot of comedy clubs is not that they are a comedy club; it's just the cheesy way they're presenting themselves. That's why a lot of people have a problem with them. If you're a relatively unknown comedian, you can play at a comedy club, you might play to hundreds of people every night. But if you try to make a concert event out of it, and try to play a rock club or something, where you might play to 10 people or no people. And the flipside of that is, that's also a great thing, to play to people who are your fans. Some people are too hard on the comedy clubs.Collection: Night
Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myselfCollection: Thinking
I have a podiatrist appointment at 2.Collection: Appointments
I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfiresCollection: Writing
I must have done everything I had. You go through years where you go through everything you've ever writtenCollection: Years
I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at allCollection: Vocabulary
I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed alsoCollection: Koalas
There's people that are just in awe of what you do, and then there are people who just think it's garbage. And I think there are people who are just uncomfortable seeing someone have fun with their jobCollection: Jobs
It was actually 3 years between albums. That seems like a long time to meCollection: Years
There are certain things that are probably too mean. I don't particularly like fat jokes. Those kind of bother me. But I guess what I was trying to say is, if I said I would never laugh at this, you could probably dig around and find a situation where I did laugh. I try not to be a hypocrite with that one. I find when there's a controversy about someone saying something offensive, I usually take the angle of, "Well, I don't know if that was offensive; it just wasn't funny." I generally don't gasp, "Oh my God!" I think people have been getting raked over the coals lately.Collection: Hypocrite
I want a room that I can definitely pack out. I don't want to sweat that part, "Am I gonna have enough people?" So I usually pick like a hundred, a relatively small room. Also, I'm looser in a small room. I don't want to record an album in front of a thousand people, not that I could draw a thousand, but I just want a room that I can really work back to front. That's just a very comfortable place for me to be loose.Collection: People
I think people have this "It can't hurt to ask" mentality, which is true on some level. I get comics like, "Hey, will you look at these videos of me on MySpace?" I was like, "Well, who's gonna benefit from that? What if I don't like you?" No, I'm gonna write to a stranger and say, "Hi. You like me, and I don't like you. And now I feel bad when I didn't need to feel bad, because you put me on the spot." Or like, "Can I open for you?" Well, I've never seen you work, so no. I certainly made awkward mistakes when I was starting out, and they're just trying to have a career.Collection: Hurt
There’s people that are just in awe of what you do, and then there are people who just think it’s garbage. And I think there are people who are just uncomfortable seeing someone have fun with their job.Collection: Fun