Scott Adams
Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.
Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.
Rotten bosses don't get better. Any strategy that assumes they can is doomed.
If you drill down on any success story, you always discover that luck was a huge part of it. You can't control luck, but you can move from a game with bad odds to one with better odds. You can make it easier for luck to find you. The most useful thing you can do is stay in the game.
There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation.
'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
My investments have been hurt.
I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist, but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
I'm primarily just an investor.
Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.
I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw.
The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.
One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there's something about that that keeps it fresh to the viewer.
I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.'
When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.
I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.
I'm surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet.
When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable.
I try to avoid giving advice.
Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
Success is entirely accessible, even if you happen to be a huge screw-up 95 percent of the time.
For most people, it's easy to be passionate about things that are working out, and that distorts our impression of the importance of passion. I've been involved in several dozen business ventures over the course of my life, and each one made me excited at the start. You might even call it passion.
I have an endless stream of suggestions coming in from readers who are in cubicles. That keeps me going.
I think if you talk to anybody who ever went from not having much to having enough to buy what they wanted, they're always happier. Now I get that whole '$75,000 a year is some kind of magic number,' but my experience is 'more is better, up to a point.' Then there's a point where it doesn't make any difference.
Psychology is the only necessary skill for running for president. Trump knows psychology.
People vote based on emotion. Period.
One strategy for getting ahead is being incredibly good at a particular skill; you need to be world-class to stand out for that skill. In my case, I layered fairly average skills together until the combination became special.
If you have a reasonable system for pursuing success, it can survive a lot of face-plants along the way. That knowledge makes success seem accessible. If you think successful people have some sort of superpower or special connections, why try?
Many, if not most, career opportunities come to you through people you know. So the more people you know, the more opportunities you have. Improving your social network is a great example of a system for moving from lower odds to better odds without having a specific goal.
The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about theCollection: Moving
Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.Collection: Disappointment
Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting MoronsCollection: Wasting Time
Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.Collection: Spring
If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it.Collection: Want
Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.Collection: Ideas
No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.Collection: Smart
Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions.Collection: Simple
I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.Collection: Funny
Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.Collection: Understanding