Sam Levenson
When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.Collection: Mother
There was an old Woman who lived in a shoe She had so many children Her government subsidy check came to $4,892.Collection: Children
The Puritans came to America to worship in their way and to force everybody else to do the same thing.Collection: America
One antidote for sexual truancy lies in simply teaching youth the wonder, the miracle, the reverence for the creation of life itself. Life is a divine creation. You don't take chances with creation.Collection: Sex
Times don't change. Men do.Collection: Inspirational
It would be useless to bomb Washington. If you destroy one building, they already have two other buildings completely staffed with people doing exactly the same thing.Collection: Government
The high IQ has become the American equivalent of the Legion of Honor, positive proof of a child's intellectual aristocracy.... It has become more important to be a smart kid than a good kid or even a healthy kid.Collection: Children
The American success formula is first to get a home of your own, then to get a car of your own so you don't have to stay in that home of your own.Collection: Funny
The beauty of America is that the average person always thinks she is above average.Collection: Thinking
At the U.N., any nation that fights back is censored as an "aggressor."Collection: Fighting
More and more Congressmen now stay in Washington all year-round because they can't stay at home under the laws they've passed.Collection: Home
Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.Collection: Success