Howard Stern
Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.Collection: Comedian
Why be uptight about bowel movements and sex? We all have sex. We all have penises -- except for those of us who have vaginas.Collection: Sex
I'm for legalizing marijuana. Why pick on those drugs? Valium is legal. You just go to a doctor and get it and overdose on it - what's the difference? Prozac, all that stuff, so why not marijuana? Who cares? It's something that grows out of the ground - why not? Go smoke a head of cabbage. I don't care what you smoke.Collection: Marijuana
I'm trapped inside of me and I don't go out at all. I go to bed at eight o'clock at night. I never go out during the week. I'm in psychotherapy four days a week, pretty heavy commitment to it.Collection: Commitment
I believe we will start believing in God as we get closer to death.Collection: Believe
My mother was very involved with me. And we had a dialogue constantly. And it was like an umbilical cord. As long as the words were flowing back and forth we were connected and feeding each other. And I probably grew up very afraid of losing that connection.Collection: Family
I'm a believer that satellite radio, whether I'm on it or not, will take off.Collection: Radio
The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor's choice. It sure isn't based on sales.Collection: New York
I'm down with just the Backstreet Boys.Collection: Boys
There are a lot of so-called "good Americans" who are really a bunch of bums.Collection: Bunch
There's just too many people being bullied, too many people's lives being wrecked. This is something that is long overdue. We all have gay and lesbian people in our families, and these are good people.Collection: Gay
Mike Walker is the Hemingway of gossip.Collection: Gossip
These nutbags, like Santorum and Bachmann, who make these people and especially young gay kids feel miserable, shame on them. They're quacks. I would never vote for them. I wouldn't even listen to them because there but for the grace of God go they.Collection: Kids
Set about doing good to somebody. Put on your hat and go and visit the sick and poor of your neighborhood; inquire into their circumstances and minister to their wants. Seek out the desolate and afflicted and oppressed. . . I have often tried this method, and have always found it the best medicine for a heavy heart.Collection: Heart
Here's what happens when you die--you sit in a box and get eaten by worms. I guarantee you that when you die, nothing cool happens.Collection: Guarantees
I will always be mad at someone. That will never go away.Collection: Mad At Someone
I'm about being funny. If I can make a joke using profanity, I will. But for the most part, that can get awfully old and boring.Collection: Funny
I really didn't know much about the Libertarians. I knew they were for less government and more individual freedom. I liked that.Collection: Government
I'm a parent, and I regulate what my kids listen to. I don't need the government to be the parent. If I'm a crappy parent, then I need the government involved.Collection: Kids
I'm sure some people might be offended by that, but this is my feeling about show business. It's not all about pure talent. There are certain people who command a stage because they look good ,like me.Collection: People
I'm in a war, a cultural war.Collection: War
Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not?Collection: Fate
I can't imagine the biggest blow to me was that marriage not working out. That just flipped me out.Collection: Blow
I'm at a point in my career, I've been around a long time now, over 35 years in broadcasting. I don't worry about much. I respect what America's Got Talent is. It is a family show. It is a show that I love.Collection: Years
I've always thought that a name says a lot about a person. So naturally, being named Howard, I always wanted to crawl into a hole.Collection: Names
Well, first of all, I’m worth every penny.Collection: Firsts
And rather than hide that, I would rather put that out on the radio and let someone see the full range of emotions. If you’re going to be strong on the radio, you got to let it all out, even the ugly stuff. And you can’t apologize for it.Collection: Strong