Greg Giraldo
A good joke provides tension, and then, release of that tension. You build the tension by saying things that are controversial. The release is the laugh. The bigger the surprise or insight in your joke, the bigger the laugh.Collection: Laughing
It's something like 70% of American adults are obese, and the rest of them are women on Ally McBeal.Collection: Allies
We need more money for schools. We need more money for the kids. Ever think maybe the damn kids aren't worth it?Collection: School
There hasn't been a more effeminate Jew in the closet since Anne Frank.Collection: Closets
Some people say Larry the Cable Guy's only successful because he's pandering to the lowest common denominator, blatantly and not ironically exploiting people's racist and homophobic tendencies. Don't listen to these people, Larry. They're just bitter and jealous and right.Collection: Funny
A dangerous fire retardant chemical is being found in women's breast milk. My wife's breastfeeding, but you know, you gotta be an optimist. I'm like, well, maybe it's making my child fireproof.Collection: Children
Edible underwear?... even during sex, we can't stop eating.Collection: Sex
You got a cop under five feet tall, what if he's gotta plant evidence on a high shelf? What then? What if he's gotta chase a suspect onto a ride at Disneyland?Collection: Feet
Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I’ve seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of material and the crowds love him. Bottom line, Jesse Joyce is a great comedian.Collection: Comedian
There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad.Collection: Guy
Joke stealing is a big deal to me, but I mean, I'm not going to investigate it if it doesn't effect me directly.Collection: Mean
How many of you text message? It's a great way of not communicating.Collection: Way
When I heard you could get a disease from playing with your prairie dog, I thought, 'Wow, what a euphemism.' I thought playing with my prairie dog was the best way to avoid diseases.Collection: Dog