Artemas Ward
Trouble will come soon enough, and when he does come receive him as pleasantly as possible. The more amiably you greet him, the sooner he will go away.Collection: Soon Enough
I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.Collection: Music
The Puritans nobly fled from a land of despotism to a land of freedim, where they could not only enjoy their own religion, but could prevent everybody else from enjoyin his.Collection: Land
I am not a politician, and my other habits are good, also.Collection: Politician
Let's have the Union restored as it was, if we can; but if we can't, I'm in favor of the Union as it wasn't.Collection: Unions
We wish genius and morality where affectionate companions, but it is a fact that they are often bitter enemies. They don't necessarily coalesce any more than oil and water do.Collection: Oil And Water
It is true, that all married men have their own way, but the trouble is they don't all have their own way of having it.Collection: Marriage
I prefer temperance hotels - although they sell worse kinds of liquor than any other kind of hotels.Collection: Alcohol
A writer who can't write in a grammerly manner better shut up shop.Collection: Writing
One of the principal features of my entertainment is that it contains so many things that don't have anything to do with it.Collection: Entertainment
Imagine for a moment Napoleon I, to have borne the name of Jenkins, or Washington to have sustained the appellation of John Smith!Collection: Names
The prevailin' weakness of most public men is to Slop Over!.... G. Washington never slopt over.Collection: Power