Ron White
The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
Everybody I know is a joke writer.
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you're a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can't say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.
I don't do any corporate work.
If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to their nature... that's what takes a long time to learn.
I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth.
A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That's just like heaven to me. I'm a simple man.
Any time someone achieves success before they've earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
If you become famous and don't have a live show to back it up, they're not going to pay you any money.
The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
I want my fans to feel like we're always in touch. Because without 'em, I wouldn't be able to do any of this.
Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
Let's face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
You can tell on-stage when a joke's starting to lose its pop. It doesn't mean people don't want to hear it anymore; it means I don't want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they've never heard.
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
I was always a funny guy. I don't think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn't a funny guy when they were young.
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don't do a ton of it.
As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny.
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
I don't do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil's show. He's a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn't give me any advice. He doesn't give solicited advice.
I've gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we're going to see if we can't bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits. I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
I don't have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I'm going to keep talking. I can't imagine a life without doing standup.
I'm definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won't. Then three years later I will finally try it and it'll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it's addicting, really.
That's the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media's radar.
I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers - doesn't matter if its something my wife hates.
I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
If I'm not in the theatre, I'm in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.
I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff. So I do very, very little of it.
I guarantee there's people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
Ultimately I'm the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I'm pretty good at helping them get there.
There have been times when I played more than others, but I've been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I've always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you'll look cool, I don't get that. But I don't watch standup anyway, so I don't know what they're doing.
I don't watch Comedy Central. I don't enjoy it.
Here's how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don't even see me coming.
If you watch the 'Blue Collar Comedy Tour,' don't expect that when you come see me by myself, 'cause it's a little rougher.
It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.