I read somewhere that when I go on stage, people realize that they're not me and they feel better. When I walk off the stage, people know who I really am. I'm not saying it's great comedy, cool comedy or better comedy - but that's what I do, and I do it first for myself.Collection: Great
I know what my sweet spot has been. It's personal stuff, dysfunction, fear of intimacy, family stuff, psychology stuff. I eviscerate myself onstage.Collection: Family
My family - it wasn't an abusive family - they meant well, but they were in their own world.Collection: Family
If you want to devote yourself to the arts, you'd better do it strictly from passion, because there is zero guarantee that you'll get anywhere. The hardest thing is dealing with business people who have nothing to do with your art. They could care less that you're up at 4:30 in the morning writing a joke. Don't expect any sympathy from anybody.Collection: Morning
I didn't ever feel close to my real family. I didn't feel validated; I never felt right because I was always wrong.Collection: Family
My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, it's how Richard Lewis feels about it. I'm a storyteller. I do a lot of free association.Collection: Humor
My act is always a work in progress. I pray I have a bad day before a show.Collection: Work
I'm 70; I'm just glad I'm on top of the ground. Honest to God.Collection: God
I love being famous. It validates that I have something to say.Collection: Famous
I never wanted to do observational humor because I never wanted to tell people what they were seeing.Collection: Humor
When you do something in the moment, it may just be for that stage, that audience, that head space that you're in.Collection: Space
When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.Collection: Life
I was 23, and all sorts of people were coming in and out and watching me, like Steve Allen and Bette Midler. David Brenner certainly took me under his wing. To drive home to my little dump in New Jersey often knowing that Steve Allen said, 'You got it' - that validation kept me going in a big, big way.Collection: Home
I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.Collection: Funny
I was way more comfortable in front of strangers than I was in front of relatives. So when they would laugh at my dysfunctions or my anxiety, I felt less alone, and I still do it for the same reason.Collection: Alone
When I started out, I struggled, and I was broke a lot. But I'm glad I struggled, and I'm glad I was broke a lot.
I certainly wouldn't be a dental hygienist - they should get the Medal of Honor just to look at people's gums.
I never gave much thought to anything since I was 22 years old, when I got into the arts, so when Larry David came to my house in 2000, I didn't even think about it - I just thought about showing up on the set.
I'm psyched-up when I do radio. I can reach hundreds of thousands of people in a market. And way psyched-up when I'm on television. For people not to take it seriously is foolish.
When I was younger, I listened to the greats: Winters, Mel and Carl, Nichols and May, Pryor, Carlin, Klein, Berman and lots of Lenny Bruce albums. But once I started doing fairly well, I didn't want to hear anybody's jokes or premises.
I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.Collection: Funny
I tried phone sex - it gave me an ear infection.Collection: Sex
During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else.Collection: Funny
I like to read biographies of authors that I love, like Richard Yates. I also like to see what non-fiction authors are out there. My bible is Something Happened. It's one of the greatest books I've ever read. But if I don't read a Dostoevsky soon I'm going to kill myself.Collection: Book
My parents were my worst audience.Collection: Parent
For 45 years I've worked without an audience.Collection: Years