Pat Paulsen
On the issue of inflation, I think I could solve it no matter how much money it took.Collection: Thinking
Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.Collection: Dark
I'm often asked why I travel around the country talking politics. Is it for humanitarian reasons, community spirit, or is it for the money, the limousines or the girls? The answers are: no, no, yes yes yes!Collection: Girl
In conclusion, you can see that there is a place for censors and we only wish that we could tell you where it is.Collection: Wish
Worrying about the future is a thing of the past. I don't think about it.Collection: Past
It is true that all of the current presidential candidates once denied that they had any intention of running. But the fact that I am also a liar, doesn't make me a candidate.Collection: Running
Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.Collection: Teenager
Many of you have asked why it's taken me so long to select a running mate. I have no intention of reaching into the political grab bag and grabbing any man to be my running mate. I'm going to reach in and grab a woman!Collection: Running
In opposition to sex education: Let the kids today learn it where we did - in the gutter.Collection: Sex
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself-and possibly teh bogey man.Collection: Fear
Why should old people get [Social Security]? They just sit around all day doing nothing.Collection: People
Sex doesn't have to be taught. It's something most of us are born with.Collection: Sex