Marsha Warfield

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You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
- Marsha Warfield
Collection: Stupid
Image of Marsha Warfield
I hate skinny women, especially when they say things like 'Sometimes I forget to eat.' Now, I've forgotten my mother's maiden name, and my keys, but you've got to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
- Marsha Warfield
Collection: Mother
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I'm beginning to appreciate the value of naps. Naps are wonderful, aren't they? Sometimes now I have to take a nap to get ready for bed.
- Marsha Warfield
Collection: Naps
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How many women here like to have sex in the morning? Now how many like to be awake when it happens?
- Marsha Warfield
Collection: Morning
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I used to be a virgin, but I gave it up because there was no money in it.
- Marsha Warfield
Collection: Used
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Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player.
- Marsha Warfield
Collection: Funny