Josh Billings
There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.Collection: Truth
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.Collection: Pet
There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.Collection: Experience
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.Collection: Forgiveness
Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.Collection: Learning
There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.Collection: Fitness
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.Collection: Funny
Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.Collection: Knowledge
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.Collection: Good
The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.Collection: Wisdom
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.Collection: Great
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.Collection: Best
Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.Collection: Women
Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.Collection: Thankful
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.Collection: Happiness
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.Collection: Love
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.Collection: Truth
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.Collection: Marriage
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.Collection: Good
Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.Collection: Wisdom
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.Collection: Wisdom
As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.Collection: Family
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.Collection: Travel
Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.Collection: Good
There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.Collection: Imagination
There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.Collection: Intelligence
The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.Collection: Fear
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.Collection: Anger
I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.Collection: Age
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.Collection: Best
In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.Collection: Age
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.Collection: Funny
Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.Collection: Intelligence
There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.Collection: Change
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.
Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.
Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.
The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.
Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.
You'd better not know so much, than to know so many things that ain't so.
One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.
It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.
Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.
Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.
Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.