Gilda Radner
I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive.Collection: Amazing
Dreams are like paper, they tear so easily.Collection: Dreams
Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.Collection: Best
I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness.
Having cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not belong to.
Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.
Fame changes a lot of things, but it can't change a lightbulb.
I can always be distracted by love, but eventually I get horny for my creativity.
Did I become an entertainer because my father died and I wanted to be what he loved? I don't know.
There is no real security except for whatever you build inside yourself.
The goal is to live a full, productive life even with all that ambiguity. No matter what happens, whether the cancer never flares up again or whether you die, the important thing is that the days that you have had you will have lived.
Adopted kids are such a pain - you have to teach them how to look like you.
I think clothes should make you feel safe. I like clothes you want to go to sleep in. I sometimes stand in front of a mirror and change a million times because I know I really want to wear my nightgown.
I don't miss 'Saturday Night Live.' I feel less of a need for the fulfillment that performance used to give... I don't have to do everything right away. As long as I can walk and jump, I'll still perform, but I no longer feel such a compulsion.
I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.
I grew up in front of a television. I guess I'll grow old inside of one.
Comedy is very controlling - you are making people laugh.
When the journalists asked Gene, 'Why didn't you marry the beautiful girl in 'The Woman in Red'?' he would always reply, 'I did!'
You feel completely in control when you hear a wave of laughter coming back at you that you have caused.
I'm so full I can't hear.
I would say that Lucy, 'I Love Lucy,' she was my idol.
I'm not really an impersonator.
My father had a hotel, and people in show business used to stay there. He loved peformers and entertainment, and I grew up knowing that.
In our show we know, if we're not getting a response, you see it in our face... we either do something to get a laugh, or the audience is in on it with us.
I had been a fan of Gene Wilder's for many years, but the first time I saw him in person, my heart fluttered - I was hooked. It felt like my life went from black and white to Technicolor.
Sportswriting is fascinating - descriptions of the opponents and the details of an event in which someone is going to win and someone is going to lose. Life is much longer and more complicated, and the outcomes are less clear-cut.
We were married in the south of France because Gene loved France. If he could have been born French, he would have been - that was his dream.
When Gene makes a movie, the people who work on it have such a love for him that the set is always a happy place.
It's like my father always said to me, he said to me, he said, Roseanna Roseanadana, it's always something. If it isn't one thing--it's another! It's always something.Collection: Father
There are those who open their hearts to others...who never think twice about giving of themselves. They are the wonderful warmhearted people who make all the difference in our lives.Collection: Heart
I've learned what I can control is whether I am going to live a day in fear and depression and panic, or whether I am going to attack the day and make it as good a day, as wonderful a day, as I can.Collection: Panic
I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.Collection: Goodbye
I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.Collection: Dog
... every time I got disappointed I'd remember the Roseannadanna philosophy that says that you shouldn't cry over split milk 'cause if you spill some milk and instead of cleaning it up you just walk over it and start crying, they're gonna put you on lithium.Collection: Philosophy
[Motherhood is] the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It's huge and scary-it's an act of infinite optimism.Collection: Mom
Humor is just truth, only faster!Collection: Faster
Cancer changes your life, often for the better. You learn what's important, you learn to prioritize, and you learn not to waste your time. You tell people you love them. My friend Gilda Radner used to say, 'If it wasn't for the downside, having cancer would be the best thing and everyone would want it.' That's true. If it wasn't for the downside.Collection: Cancer
Cancer is probably the most unfunny thing in the world, but I'm a comedian, and even cancer couldn't stop me from seeing the humor in what I went through.Collection: Happiness
[Roseanne Roseannadanna line:] It's always something.Collection: Life
Fame changes a lot of things, but it can't change a light bulb.Collection: Light
It's such an act of optimism to get through a day and enjoy it and laugh and do all that without thinking about death. What spirit human beings have!Collection: Optimistic
I love being a woman. You can cry. You get to wear pants now. If you're on a boat and it's going to sink, you get to go on the rescue boat first. You get to wear cute clothes. It must be a great thing, or so many men wouldn't be wanting to do it.Collection: Cute
I would rather be funny than gorgeous, absolutely. Because it's too hard to be gorgeous, you know. I could make a stab at gorgeous as long as I had something funny to say to get out of it.Collection: Long
[Emily Litella line:] Never mind.Collection: Mind
I have always found men who were funny, irresistible. It's rare that I ever based love on looks or superficial things, but it a guy made me laugh-and that didn't mean he had to be in comedy professionally - I was hooked.Collection: Mean
What we put into every moment is all we have. You can drug yourself to death or you can smoke yourself to death or eat yourself to death, or you can do everything right and be healthy and then get hit by a car. Life is so great, such a neat thing, and yet all during it we have to face death, which can make you nuts and depressed.Collection: Nuts
... I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Suddenly I had to spend all my time getting well.Collection: Get Well
My life had made me funny, and cancer wasn't going to change that.Collection: Cancer
Motherhood . . . is an act of infinite optimism.Collection: Inspirational