I'd like a pop-up magazine with 45 articles on Russell Crowe. I'm like a teenager. I'd have 'Teen Beat' if I could, for grown-ups.Collection: Teen
Don't compare yourself with someone else's version of happy or thin. Accepting yourself burns the most calories.Collection: Diet
Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks.Collection: Home
Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date.
Sitting next to Olivia Newton-John, I was like, 'Do not sing one song from Grease.' That's all I was telling my brain at all times: 'Do not sing Hopelessly Devoted. Don't do it.'
I'm very impressed by St. Patrick's. Another deity to me is definitely Saks Fifth Avenue. Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks.
Hello? Three words: Benicio Del Toro, which, incidentally, is Spanish for 'he wants me.' It is just ridiculous how hot he is. I feel the same way about Benicio as I did when I was a kid lusting after David Cassidy.
It's so easy to judge everybody and for some reason extra weight is the one thing everything feels OK to joke about.
My daughter is exceptionally chatty. I'm not a braggy mother but she is gifted - with the personality of a Russian gymnastics coach.
I remember I was so crabby in my third trimester - I got gestational diabetes because I'd been acting like I was in a one-woman pie-eating contest.
I constantly walk into a room and I don't remember why. But for some reason, I think there's going to be a clue in the fridge.Collection: Thinking
Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.Collection: Funny
I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs... but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.Collection: Easter
My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.Collection: Inspirational
I always feel slightly sorry to be the voice of whatever I'm experiencing.Collection: Sorry
When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.Collection: Pain
My father can not finish a sentence. When we were kids he would go, 'Girls the most important thing in life to remember is...' 'Daddy, what is it?' 'What's what, honey?' 'The most important thing in life to remember.' 'Oh, what's that?'Collection: Girl
You can always tell when someone's lying to you, because they're male.Collection: Lying