Bill Cosby
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.Collection: Humor
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.Collection: Humor
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.Collection: Humor
George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with words.Collection: Humor
Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity. He didn't use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire.Collection: Humor
Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.Collection: Humor
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.Collection: Parenting
My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.Collection: Parenting
Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.Collection: Wisdom
When I was a child, I was living in the housing projects of Philadelphia. I didn't even have a Christmas tree.Collection: Christmas
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.Collection: Marriage
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.Collection: Marriage
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.Collection: Failure
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.Collection: Failure
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.Collection: Chance
With my wife Camille's help, I took to social networking. I'm working with the computers.Collection: Computers
I think 'I Spy,' still when you look at it, speaks volumes in terms of propaganda for equality. It's just magnificent.Collection: Equality
Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.Collection: Fake People
If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.Collection: Want
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.Collection: Inspirational
The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.Collection: Love
Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.Collection: Drinking
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.Collection: Love
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.Collection: Wise
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.Collection: Love
The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.Collection: Funny
You can't be everything to everyoneCollection: Everything Happens For A Reason
Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.Collection: People
You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.Collection: Giving
The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.Collection: Funny
When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing ... will win arguments and straighten people out.Collection: Gun
Every father says the same thing: “Where's your mother?”Collection: Mother
Don't let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.Collection: Wise
You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.Collection: Family
All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be rightCollection: Running
If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.Collection: Want
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.Collection: Funny
Beware of people who fall at your feet. They may be reaching for the corner of the rug.Collection: Fall
Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.Collection: Kids
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.Collection: Education
I was'nt always black. there was this freckel that just grew and grew.Collection: Black
The game of chess. Supposedly men made it up, and it's about war and men and the ravages and the bravery and the genius of commanding and moving pieces and ... No. It's marriage. The Queen moves anywhere she wants.Collection: Marriage
Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He's very, very busy.Collection: Devil
The secret of success is to be like a duck, Smooth and unruffled on top, But paddling furiously underneath.Collection: Ducks
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.Collection: Funny
Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.Collection: Family
It's painful, but we can't heal ourselves unless we cleanse the wounds.Collection: Painful
The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.Collection: Future
Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.Collection: Funny
Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.Collection: Communication