Ambrose Bierce
LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.Collection: Revenge
PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.Collection: Confused
FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.Collection: Sex
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.Collection: Country
OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one’s environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.Collection: Fun
CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material adversity. An Italian proverb says: “The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.”Collection: Strong
READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in “dialect” and humor in slang.Collection: Country
Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.Collection: Country