Albert Ellis
Lack of forgiveness of others breeds lack of self-forgiveness.Collection: Forgiveness
We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.Collection: Past
I teach people to be flexible, scientific and logical in their thinking and therefore to be less prone to brainwashing by the therapist.Collection: Thinking
We'd better work hard on getting rid of that must - Other people must do what I want them to do!" It's what makes people hostile, nasty, mean and combative, and it leads to feuds, wars and genocide. We'd better do something about that.Collection: War
And just as two wrongs don't make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.Collection: Hate
So I'd better stop my whining and help myself cope better with even the worst Adversities.Collection: Adversity
The emotionally sound person should be able to take risks, to ask himself what he really would like to do in life, and then to try to do this, even though he has to risk defeat or failure. He should be adventurous (though not necessarily foolhardy); be willing to try almost anything once, just to see how he likes it; and look forward to some breaks in his usual life routines.Collection: Risk
Much of what we call emotion is nothing more or less than a certain kind - a biased, prejudiced, or strongly evaluative kind - of thought.Collection: Emotion
Needing leads to bleeding - to almost all inevitable suffering.Collection: Acceptance
The world consists mainly of love slobs who need other people's approval. Most people don't live their own lives very well.Collection: People
Worry itself is one of the most painful conditions.Collection: Worry
Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it into your mouth.Collection: Food
Spirit and soul is horseshit of the worst sort. Obviously there are no fairies, no Santa Clauses, no spirits. What there is, is human goals and purposes as noted by sane existentialists. But a lot of transcendentalists are utter screwballs.Collection: Goal
Whenever you avoid alarming situations, you almost always increase your anxiety about them.Collection: Anxiety
People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness. They always have the power to think, and to think about their thinking, and to think about thinking about their thinking, which the goddamn dolphin, as far as we know, can't do. Therefore they have much greater ability to change themselves than any other animal has, and I hope that REBT teaches them how to do it.Collection: Animal
This, perhaps, goes to show that conditional self-esteem, as I have said for many years, is an insidious, real sickness, so much so that even Buddhists carelessly sneak it in and sometimes encourage their clients to achieve it.Collection: Buddhist
The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.Collection: Hate
Whining about your own, others', or the world's failings is a main element in what we usually call neurosis.Collection: Elements
My rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) was one of the very few therapies that was originated partly or largely because I wanted to be brief and efficient. And therefore right from the start I was active and directive. I tried to show people some central masturbatory core to their philosophy and to get them to work at changing it cognitively, emotionally and behaviorally.Collection: Philosophy
Strong feelings are fine; it’s the overreactions that mess us up.Collection: Strong
By not caring too much about what people think, I’m able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed.Collection: Bullying