Top Toilets Quotes Collection

Discover a curated collection of Toilets quotes. Find inspiration, motivation, and wisdom from the best quotes in this category.

Image of David Sedaris
If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm?
- David Sedaris
Collection: Toilets
Image of Devon Monk
... he trotted down the hallway on all fours and started in on his second favorite pastime, conversations with plumbing. Just what I needed: Stone, the Toilet Whisperer.
- Devon Monk
Collection: Toilets
Image of Charlie Day
I always have my best thoughts on the toilet.
- Charlie Day
Collection: Toilets
Image of Jason Hawes
We once installed a $1.49 trap in a woman's toilet and she never had ghost problems again.
- Jason Hawes
Collection: Toilets
Image of Seth Green
The chili I ate made for an explosive bathroom experience. I don't know how to put this delicately, but I missed the toilet entirely.
- Seth Green
Collection: Toilets
Image of Behdad Sami
If all you do is talk crap, I'll just flush the toilet.
- Behdad Sami
Collection: Toilets
Image of Rainbow Rowell
You act like getting pregnant is a disease you can catch from public toilets.
- Rainbow Rowell
Collection: Toilets
Image of Rick Riordan
There’s nothing here,” Carter said. “What do you want?” I asked. “We’ve got wax, some toilet papyrus, an ugly statue.
- Rick Riordan
Collection: Toilets
Image of Rick Riordan
I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing.
- Rick Riordan
Collection: Toilets
Image of Slash
I do all my interviews on the toilet.
- Slash
Collection: Toilets
Image of Alexander Gordon Smith
Trust me-that toilet and me were best friends for the first few days I was here.
- Alexander Gordon Smith
Collection: Toilets
Image of J. K. Rowling
Montague's just been found in a toilet, Sir.
- J. K. Rowling
Collection: Toilets
Image of Rick Riordan
Whasthat!" "Um ... those are the toilets.
- Rick Riordan
Collection: Toilets
Image of Warren Buffett
Getting fired can produce a particularly bountiful payday for a CEO. Indeed, he can 'earn' more in that single day, while cleaning out his desk, than an American worker earns in a lifetime of cleaning toilets. Forget the old maxim about nothing succeeding like success: Today, in the executive suite, the all-too-prevalent rule is that nothing succeeds like failure.
- Warren Buffett
Collection: Toilets
Image of Orson Scott Card
The only process you've mastered is the process of elimination, and the only reason you've mastered that is because you can do it in the toilet.
- Orson Scott Card
Collection: Toilets
Image of Cassandra Clare
It's the mortal cup Jace, not the mortal toilet bowl.
- Cassandra Clare
Collection: Toilets
Image of Dan Brown
As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne.
- Dan Brown
Collection: Toilets
Image of Bill Cosby
And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.
- Bill Cosby
Collection: Toilets
Image of Becca Fitzpatrick
She cleans a toilet inside and out under a minute. More like terrifying
- Becca Fitzpatrick
Collection: Toilets
Image of Margaret Atwood
There is something reassuring about the toilets. Bodily functions at least remain democratic. Everybody shits.
- Margaret Atwood
Collection: Toilets