Tracy Morgan
Martin Lawrence is one of my comedic heroes, and he's a genius.
If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny.
Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music.
Comedy clubs are sacred ground. That's where anything goes.
I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn, and I consider myself lucky and blessed to be where I am - just working.
Reality is the scary thing. Not my work, not comedy.
What I have learned over the years is to try to stay in the moment. I want to feel it all because I've realized nothing lasts.
I deal with my sons like young men. If they have a problem with something, they come to me. I am the type of dad that will drop everything I am doing for them, and always tell them to talk to me about it.
You will be surprised but I do a lot of studying and I watch National Geographic.
I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me.
I spread love wherever I'm at. I'm like Marvin Gaye.
I'm a big, big movie fan. I watch 'The Ten Commandments' and the original 'Planet of the Apes' every night.
Stand-up is my foundation. That's where it started at. And I love it because it's personal. It's mine. It's all me. It's my experience in life.
I would love to try action films.
It's just, people recognize you for your work, you know? They love you for your work, and they judge you for your work. It's awesome to have people quoting you. I love it.
I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut.
I think the word 'pregnant' is funny.
People walked out on Richard Pryor and he's the funniest man alive.
I don't have a hateful bone in my body. I don't believe anyone should be bullied or made to feel bad about who they are.
In my heart, I really don't care who you love, same sex or not; as long as you have the ability to love, that's the important thing here.
If I make fun of somebody at my show, believe me, it's something we can all laugh at.
The version of me you see on TV now and in my feature films is a pretty happy guy, isn't he?
If you're the kind of person who likes numbers and statistics, I'm the long shot - the Lotto Powerball winner. I'm the mutation in the DNA that makes evolution a reality. I am the new black.
Who's coming with me? I don't know where I'm going, but who's coming with me?
In New York, we get down. In L.A., everybody's pretty much standing around like they're at a keg stand. You got to get the party started, so I just take my shirt off.
I've played outrageous characters my whole career.
Parents should support and love their kids no matter what.
I got five kids - I claim three for income tax purposes.
I believe gay, straight, anybody, everybody's supposed to be happy in this world, man.
Of all the sicknesses, there is probably none more abusive than homophobia.
My heart is committed to giving everyone the same rights that I deserve for myself.
The paparazzi do what they do, man. They have a job, too.
I mellowed out; my daughter mellowed me out, and I don't get mad at anyone.
I've still got family members living below the poverty line in New York.
No matter what, if my son was gay, I'd treat him like a king.
Rock bottom for some people is death. Some people never learn from their mistakes. They don't learn from other people's mistakes.
All women like to look up to their men.
I love animals, but I don't want to talk to them. I'd rather be able to talk to other people on other continents and understand them.
All you single fathers got to man up.
Black people dance well because we start early - there's music being played everywhere. White people? They don't start dancing until they get to college, and by then, it's too late; the bottom don't move with the top no matter how hard they try.
I've got friends who want money but don't want to do anything to earn it.
Anybody who's lived in the ghetto knows that you don't move during the daytime. Here's why: You don't want anyone to know you're leaving, and you don't want anyone knowing where you're going.
When you're in the spotlight, people want to dissect you and then put you back together the way they want you.
You have to be highly intelligent to get away with a dumb joke. That takes a pretty smart fella.
I guess I'm entertaining; I guess I'm interesting. I guess the things that I say sell papers. I guess they sell magazines. I don't know.
I don't even read the newspaper; I don't read that crap.
It gets scary when you're dealing with people who don't know how to separate fact from fiction.
I have the person at home, the person who has his privacy, too. Michael Jackson didn't do the moonwalk in his kitchen.
Having boys is different. Boys, you put sneakers on, and they're out, they're ready. Girls, you gotta pay a little bit more attention to them.