I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.Collection: Diet
Happiness is getting a brown gravy stain on a brown dress.Collection: Happiness
I exercise daily to keep my figure. I keep patting my hand against the bottom of my chin. It works too. I have the thinnest fingers in town.Collection: Exercise
I break all the rules and wear everything. Ruffles, ostrich feathers, fox coats. You look fat in fox anyway, so if you start fat, you only look a little fatter.Collection: Ostriches