Sid Caesar
The things I see now on TV and in movies are so outlandish. Kids doing rude things with pies! And the language that they use! It's being outrageous for the sake of being outrageous. I can't watch it. It turns me off.Collection: Movies
Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.Collection: Humor
In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.
The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.
When we could split the screen, it was like 'Wow!'.
The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.
If I don't believe it, I don't care.
After all those years of doing a live, hour-and-a-half show every week, I've got nothing more I need to prove.
People come up to me and they thank me: 'I thank you for the many, many hours of laughter.'
If you listen to a language for 15 minutes, you know the rhythm and song.
When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon.
Every language has its own music.
If you can't stand yourself, neither can anybody else!Collection: Psychics
The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.Collection: Witty
Jazz is a beautiful woman whose older brother is a policeman.Collection: Music
A great NOW will be a great WAS! A bad NOW will always be a bad WAS, and all you can hope for is a Great GONNA BE!Collection: Hope
If you have no tragedy, you have no comedy. Crying and laughing are the same emotion. If you laugh too hard, you cry. And vice versa.Collection: Happiness
Everybody wants to have a goal - I gotta get to that goal, I gotta get to that goal, I gotta get to that goal. I can finally get to that goal. Then you get to that goal, and then you gotta get to another goal. But in between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed - and if you don't, you're a fool.Collection: Goal
When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon. And people looked at me and said, "Gee, that's like Uncle David", or "That's like a friend of mine.". And they related through that. I didn't make fun of them. I made fun of me.Collection: Uncles