Penn Jillette
I don't speak for all Libertarians any more than Sean Penn speaks for all Democrats.
I like to read in the dark. I like to go into the bathtub, turn out all the lights, and in the dark, read my books.
For better or worse, in the 21st century, reality shows are the variety show.
You have two choices with Obama. You either believe that he is a man of Christ... or you think he's a liar. And I'm surprised by the number of atheist free thinkers that support Obama, and their argument is essentially, 'He's lying about being religious 'cause you have to do that to get elected.' It's a horrible reason to like somebody.
Juggling is very, very straightforward; very, very black and white; you're manipulating objects, not people. And that's always appealed to me.
The skills that we have are the actual magic skills - not the performing skills. We have to separate those. But the actual skills that make the tricks work, we don't get to use again.
I don't believe in vengeance. Really, when all is said and done, I probably don't believe in punishment.
World War II proves there's no God.
It wasn't success, because Teller and I, by the time Asparagus Valley got together - within a year, we had achieved all our goals. I mean, our goal was to earn our living doing exactly what we wanted. Which is many people's goal.
We knew that we were kind of odd and creeps, and we wanted to do odd, creepy stuff for people who wanted to see that.
We aren't people who believe that just because we're performers our opinions on everything need to be known.
The only place we were really told to tone it down - where other people would use the word censorship, but I wouldn't - was when we did MTV right after the Beavis and Butt-head thing.
I think it's pretty cruel to give a kid a name that others are going to have. I think it's very important to have a unique name within any group you're likely to be in.
One of the things that Teller and I are obsessed with, one of the reasons that we're in magic, is the difference between fantasy and reality. That is the subject that, if you have a brain in your head, is always dealt with in magic. The smarter the tricks you're doing, the more that' s an important thing.
Every nut who kills people has a Bible lying around.
TV networks are dying. The death throes of religion give us jihads. The death throes of television give us reality shows.
Tommy Smothers is a hero of mine.
I'm totally against straight marriage - even though I'm married. I don't think heterosexual marriage is any of the government's business.
Don't waste too much time wishing, hoping, and being envious; it'll make you bugnutty.
When someone is trying to interpret something for you, they always have an agenda.
You can't believe how pro-gay and pro-freedom-of-speech I am. I'm way out beyond anyone on the Left.
We know what racist people look like. They don't deny it. They just don't!
I don't believe the majority always knows what's best for everyone.
The definition of a stupid thing is something that if you do everything right, you still get hurt. Fire-eating and love are stupid things.
America was founded on Christians not trusting each other, and they sometimes seemed more willing to reach out to the godless than to someone from another sect.
When I was a kid, politicians wanted to avoid talking about religion if they could. John F. Kennedy couldn't duck the issue, being Catholic and all. So how did he address it? By reminding Americans that religion shouldn't be an issue, that he was concentrating on big things like poverty and hunger and leading the space race.
A lot of older parents worry about being older parents. I hear people say, 'I don't want to be too old to play baseball with my son.' They worry that their kids will be embarrassed by their parents' age.
From 1985 to 1994, I lived in Manhattan in a big old loft right off Times Square. I could walk to work, which was in a couple of Broadway theaters, to Howard Stern's studio, and to 30 Rock for 'Letterman' and 'SNL.' Even in New York, walking to work is homey and folksy, like living in a small town.
Cheerios bring back memories. I actually don't think I ate them much as a kid, though; maybe it's some sort of Jungian memory, I don't know. But they have so much sugar, it's great.
I love the feeling of shredded wheat. I love healthy bird food with a fun-to-eat feel. Then you spray them with sugar, and I'm there.
I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life and really did change the world.
One thing you learn doing magic tricks for a living is how close every performance of every magic trick is to disaster. There are no robust magic tricks. They're all hanging from a thread - sometimes literally.
Cars mean nothing to me. I'm not a car guy.
Having a Hummer is stupid. It's stupid to waste that much gas. It's stupid to waste that much money on gas. It's stupid to parade your insecurities on public roads. Hummers are stupid-looking.
There's no job in show business that's harder than any other job outside show business.
The fact is that violence gives you a rush.
Teller and I worked Renaissance Festivals and street performing - actually more real, no kidding around, Philadelphia street performing than we did Renaissance Festivals.
If I go out to dinner with you and you order wine, I leave. I won't be around drugs and alcohol at all.
I'm a big fan of huge populations of people, so you'd think with 300 million people in the country, you don't even have to please 1% to be phenomenally successful.
But it's much more exciting to make Die Hard. One of the reasons that I think that movie is so successful is it deals with those very important blue-collar relationship themes. But it's more visually beautiful to show things blowing up. It just gives you more on the screen.
Before you can read, you know the difference between a story and reality. And, of course, by the time you're old enough to do any real damage with an Uzi, you've learned that difference.
A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'
I was always a little embarrassed when there was an act on television that requires a great deal of skill but is a little goofy, and the host comes over and acts like the person doing this skill is some sort of fool for having learned to do something that's very, very difficult.
I started out as a juggler, so I know what it means to spend eight hours a day, seven days a week practicing something that people just dismiss with a wave of hand.
If there are two things Penn & Teller stand for, it's the truth & lying, although not necessarily in that order.
I think the media spends a lot of time fooling itself.
I don't know what's best for other people.
I came to magic absolutely hating magic on a very, very deep level.
Modern American magic, late 20th century magic, is tremendously disrespectful of the audience.