Nick Offerman
If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza.
I also grew up building theatrical scenery. I spent many years building scenery as a large part of my income and that allowed me to really develop my shop skills.
I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good.
I would like Americans to make things with their hands. Thomas Jefferson and I feel that makes for a much stronger nation.
I've had to learn and discipline myself that I'm much happier and much less depressed if I give myself a project. It's just that simple.
I'm very hairy, and men in film and TV are no longer allowed to be hairy.
I grew up among farmers in Illinois and so you always have to have the tools you might need in the eventuality of a flat tire or a broken window.
You know, it's hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash.
For years I drove a big Ford F250 pickup. That was my ride because two-thirds of my work was wood work, and I'm always driving up to Northern California, where I harvest salvaged trees.
I am always so happy to be at 'SNL.' I still feel like a kid when I'm there, like I can't believe I'm watching them make the show.
I think it's fascinating that I receive attention for what people perceive to be a level of manliness or machismo, when amongst my family of farmers and paramedics and regular Americans, I'm kind of the sissy in my family.
I'm enjoying the opportunity that 'Parks And Recreation' affords me to exploit my own soapbox agenda, which is to try to encourage people to make things with their hands.
When I hear young people today complain about being bored - and the things that keep them from being bored are generally exclusively videogames and/or computer pastimes - I just try to encourage them to go outside.
Meat is a big deal in my life. I do love breakfast food, but I don't think that's extraordinary. I'm a normal American. We love eggs and meat and potatoes and gravy.
I come from a family of fishermen. Fishing is very important to us. We don't hunt. We're not gun folk.
I am a saxophone player.
When I got to Los Angeles, I started building cabins in peoples' yards, building post-and-beam structures and cutting the joinery for those.
It's funny, growing up there was never anybody around me with any kind of artistic bent.
When I was in high school, I would perform every year in those plays and there was something I really loved about it. But I was completely unaware that you could sort of get into an acting career.
My uncles, who are farmers in Minooka, Illinois - I grew up with them and their pickup trucks and mustaches, and to me that was masculinity: big hairy sweaty guys who could pick up a bus.
I have a corn creamer that I love. It extracts pulp and juice from kernels, and I simmer that down into a creamed corn that has an almost mashed potato-like consistency. I add butter and hit it with chopped fresh chives at the end for an accent of color.
I've been working steadily as an actor since around 1998. I wasn't well known in the public, but I was a dependable working journeyman.
If you're an original thinker, you are going get told 'no' a lot, and you have to be able to hear 'no' many times from the bankers and trust that at some point, someone is going to recognize that you are an artist and not a can of soda.
My wife happens to be probably the greatest working woman in comedy. I can't think of anyone who even approaches her achievements and her abilities.
When I got my job on 'Parks,' it was so dreamy, kind of unfathomable. I didn't think a job that excellent could exist for me.
I've never seen a theater community to rival that of Chicago. Neither New York nor L.A. has the raw talent or integrity that Chicago theater has, and I think it's because Chicago doesn't have Broadway or the film and TV business to distract it.
If I had more time, I'd watch more woodworking or home-improvement shows, but, not enough hours in the day.
There have been a few occurrences where people in restaurants have sent me a rasher of bacon, which I am not going to turn my nose up at. I never let them down.
I have a wonderfully hedonistic appetite, and if I wasn't really strict with myself, I'd weigh 300 pounds. I'm not good with moderation.
We have such an embarrassment of riches when it comes to choice. Do you want to hike in the Alps? There are 300 pairs of shoes you can order within the next 10 minutes. You have your choice of everything.
I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it's me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can't beat brats.
I always had a lot of confidence in my work and the unique flavor I like to bring to my characters, but you know I'm not a huge dreamer.
And what we've lost sight of is that performing manual labor with your hands is one of the most incredibly satisfying and positive things you can do.
I spent a lot of my youth working outside in the elements, and I kind of revel in defeating tough weather.
I grew up in a small town in Illinois, and my dad was a basketball coach. Thanks to him, I have excellent fundamentals in both basketball and baseball.
I worked a lot in Chicago's theater scene as a fight choreographer. And so I do have a lot of experience in stage combat and also in Kabuki dance and Kabuki theater.
You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time. And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and wait for your agent to call you, or you can go learn how to build a Shaker blanket chest with hand-cut dovetails.
If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.Collection: Pants
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.Collection: Life Changing
Follow your gut, make a choice, and throw yourself into it. If you make a mistake, then you have merely afforded yourself a valuable lesson.Collection: Mistake
If you want to be happy in life, consider yourself a student. Every day of your life, think: how can I improve?Collection: Happy Life
Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it.Collection: Figures
Technically, we're all half centaur.Collection: Centaurs
If you always have something in your life that you're trying to improve upon, then every day you have a reason to get out of bed, and you have a reason to achieve something and feel good.Collection: Feel Good
We're cognizant, curious beings, capable of philosophical thought, nuclear physics, repeating Nerf weapons, global consciousness, Glade air fresheners, and sentient automobiles. But we're assholes first.Collection: Philosophical
Always maintain the attitude of a student. If you think you've done learning, bitterness sets in, but if you have more to achieve every day, in any arena, that makes each morning's awakening full of potential and cheery portent.Collection: Morning
Really, all religious teachings can be boiled down to: “Just be cool. Don’t be an asshole.Collection: Religious
Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer.Collection: Hands
Your dreams are always going to seem much more profound to you then they are to your friend.Collection: Dream
Damn it all, you have been given a life on this beautiful planet! Get off your ass and do something!Collection: Beautiful