Moms Mabley
It's no disgrace to be old. But damn if it isn't inconvenient.Collection: Damn
Love is like playing checkers. You have to know which man to move.Collection: Love
Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody.Collection: Children
Ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one.Collection: Men
Black women, white women- all of them. I'm colorblind. I don't know the difference. I only know you're a human being and you're my children.Collection: Children
My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.Collection: Husband
Anytime you see me with my arms around an old man, I'm holding him for the police.Collection: Men
The teenagers aren't all bad. I love 'em if nobody else does. There ain't nothing wrong with young people. Jus' quit lyin' to 'em.Collection: Teenager
A woman is a woman until the day she dies, but a man's man only as long as he canCollection: Maturity
[On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it.Collection: Morning
Use those brains that God put in your head.Collection: Brain
I don't want nothing old but some old money. Buy me some young ideas. That's what I'm gonna do with it.Collection: Ideas
If you don't want your children to know the truth about life don't send 'em to the theater to see Moms 'cause I'm gonna tell them THE TRUTH, hear?Collection: Mom
You know Moms has been accused of liking young men, and I'm guilty.Collection: Mom
[On turning down an invitation to appear for four minutes on the Ed Sullivan Show:] Honey, it takes Moms four minutes just to get on the stage.Collection: Mom
Honey, that Totie Fields is one well-fed white woman. When that gal sits around the house, she sits around the house!Collection: White