Edgar Wilson Nye
I rise from bed the first thing in the morning, leaving my couch not because I am dissatisfied with it, but because I cannot carry it with me during the day.Collection: Morning
The peculiar characteristic of classical music is that it is really better than it sounds.Collection: Sound
Space has no top, no bottom; in fact, it is bottomless both at the bottom and the top.Collection: Science
Youth is the spring-time of life. It is the time to acquire information, so that we may show it off in after years and paralyze people with what we know.Collection: Spring
They tell me Wagner's music is better than it sounds.Collection: Music
We can never be a nation of snobs so long as we are willing to poke fun at ourselves.Collection: Fun
The earth is convulsed with a universal sob, and the roads are muddy with tears. But I do not call to mind a more touching picture of unavailing misery and ruin, and hopeless chaos, than the plug hat that has endeavored to keep sober and maintain self-respect while its owner was drunk.Collection: Self
Spring comes with joyous laugh, and song, and sunshine, and the burnt sacrifice of the over-ripe boot and the hoary overshoe. The cowboy and the new milch cow carol their roundelay. So does the veteran hen. The common egg of commerce begins to come forth into the market at a price where it can be secured with a step-ladder, and all nature seems tickled.Collection: Song
Many people have traveled all their lives and yet do not know how to behave themselves when on the road... Ladies and gentlemen should guard against traveling by rail while in a beastly state of intoxication... the morning is a good time to find out how many people have succeeded in getting on the passenger train, who ought to be in the stock car.Collection: Travel