If you ever get rich and famous, by definition you are special. You have done something special, and therefore you start to behave special. Then if the floor drops out, and you become down and out, you have a really new perspective.Collection: Famous
There are all of these people that say, my mommy doesn't love me enough, my daddy doesn't hug me enough. There are some people that would want to coddle them somewhere. I want them to shut up and stop whining.
There are people, radio talk show hosts, those kind of people, it's their job to only have one opinion, they can't tell you about their feelings. They have to go with what pays their bills.
I often say television is not a job for grown men. You go to a set, they pick out your clothes for you, they tell you where to stand, what to say, and your chair has your name on it in case you can't find a place to sit.
I was married for 18 years to a woman who wanted me to get sober for all 18 years and I never did. She finally came to her senses and divorced me.
There's nothing like turning on the radio and listening to the high-speed chase that you're leading police on!
When I was living on the street I would be standing out in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater, leaning against my car and signing autographs and nobody had any idea that I was living in it.
As it has been told to me, my Dad had some kind of deal with Dick Clark. But when we got here, that fell through. So we were out here with no job, no furniture, no food.
I am a proud participant of the Spencer Tracy School of Acting: Know your lines, don't bump into the furniture.
If you're a kid in Southern California, somebody - whether it's you or your parents - somebody throws your hat into the ring and I think everyone had a commercial or two.
It's funny, because I'm a man of strong opinions and when I make one, I stand by it even if it starts to appear incorrect to me after a while.
Now it seems like people want to do damage to young celebrities. They want to find them doing bad things. They encourage them.
If you have an impossible dream, a dream that cannot be fulfilled, the friendly thing for me to do is to put a stop to you wasting your life at it.
If a car came through a window anywhere near me, I'd be freaking out for three days!Collection: Car
I take great solace that Einstein failed math. I failed math. I also failed English and home economics. Einstein was an underachiever.Collection: Education
There is a weirdness about having a famous pre-pubescent in the house when you are going through the trials and tribulations of adolescence.Collection: House
I say this with no fear of contradiction. Jonas Barnes is absolutely, positively the funniest stand-up comic I have ever seen. Of course, I almost never leave my home. Jonas is a great guy and was a big help to me.Collection: Home