Alice Roosevelt Longworth
My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.Collection: Wedding
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.Collection: Funny
You can't make a souffle rise twice.Collection: Food
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.Collection: Funny
I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.Collection: Life
Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay.Collection: History
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
My specialty is detached malevolence.Collection: Malevolence
He sprang from the grass roots of the country clubs of America.Collection: Country
If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.Collection: Funny
I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.Collection: President
I live by three rules: I eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired and scratch when I itch.Collection: Tired
Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.Collection: Funny
I valued my independence from an early age and was always something of a individualist … Well, a show-off anyway.Collection: Independence
People in Washington seem as hypnotized by precedence as though they were hens with their beaks on a chalk line.Collection: People
... [woman suffrage] has made little difference beyond doubling the number of voters. There is no woman's vote as such. They divide up just about as men do.Collection: Men
[On Washington, D.C.:] a town of successful men and the women they married before they were successful.Collection: Successful
[Remark about Calvin Coolidge she says was erroneously attributed to her:] I do wish he did not look as if he had been weaned on a pickle.Collection: Wish
You can't make souffle rise twice.Collection: Souffle
If YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ANYONE..COME SIT BY ME.Collection: Nice
If you have nothing good to say about anyone, come and sit with me.Collection: Luck
If you can't think of anything nice to say, come sit here beside me.Collection: Nice
If you can't say something nice about someone, come and sit right here next to me.Collection: Nice