Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.Collection: Humor
I like my life alone. I mean, I love being with friends, and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices.Collection: Alone
I have very vivid dreams - almost always action-adventure. I'm often on the run. I've always had dreams. When I was little, I'd go to sleep with my head on my hands, which were in fists like I was looking through a camera. I felt like sleep was the movies - just drifting off to the movies.Collection: Movies
I can't believe how much time has passed. The first time I did stand-up I was 17, and I was really a stand-up once I was 19 in New York, and now I'm 41, and I still feel like I haven't found myself onstage.
When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach.
I never want to be in a position where I have to defend my material. It's too subjective. It's for other people to defend or not defend.
It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it.
My comedy notebooks are filled with random journal entries. It's all the same. I can look back on old joke notebooks, and know exactly what was going on in my life.
I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.
Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.
I tend to be more arrogant on stage. Far more ignorant. I sometimes say what I think and sometimes say the opposite of what I think and the lines get blurred, but I can only hope that some kind of absolute power transcends.
And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.
By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.
Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it.
Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.
I mean, I love being with friends and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices.
Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. I kind of feel in between now.
I'm doing a lot of stand-up, but not like when you're living in New York and you can do three sets a night and it's your life, and you sleep all day and you wake up and you eat with a bunch of other comics and then get ready for the night.
I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion.
I'm a very ritualistic person. I have to wash my face twice, and on the second wash before I rinse, I brush my teeth, then I rinse, then I floss, then I put on moisturizer. I'm ritualistic. Jewishness is very ritualistic.
It fills me with a weird rage to wear shoes that make me not able to walk easily or run if I had to. It feeds into this whole 'war on women' thing in my head.
The first time I did stand-up I was 17, and I was really a stand-up once I was 19 in New York, and now I'm 41, and I still feel like I haven't found myself onstage. Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident.
I have no religion, but I can't escape being extremely Jewish ethnically - that is, culturally. In other words, I'm not religious, but I worry and I'm neurotic. And I'm very good with money.
As a kid, I was terrified. I was a bed wetter, and I had to go to sleepaway camp every summer, which was humiliating and terrifying. I had lots of insecurities and scaredness.