My first pet at home in Edinburgh was a dog my dad had called Glen. He was a small sheepdog and went with my dad every day to work as manager of a cooking centre, which made the children's lunches for schools.Collection: Pet
I love radio and have done a little bit for years - since 'Workers' Playtime' in the 1950s. It's also a good springboard for comedians.
A man can add to his sexuality by being funny, whereas a woman can diminish hers. I don't know why that's the case: it's completely unfair.
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
I think people feel starved of nice, glamorous entertainment. They want to see costumes and gaiety and a singer; old-fashioned entertainment - it won't die easily.
Part of my style was getting into a muddle. Audiences think that's part of the act. Sometimes it might be - but you have to guess which bits.
I'm always nervous. A classy comedian is full of self-doubt disguised with an air of false confidence. If there isn't self-doubt, you seem aggressive.
We knew what mums, dads, and children would understand and enjoy without resentment. I don't see the requirement to upset people. You're there to entertain and please.
There was a story saying I didn't like contemporary comedians, but it's completely untrue - a lot of them are very dear friends of mine.
You get fed up watching shows with not much care and love, reality programmes where they put people in a house for a fortnight and film them doing everything, or where participants arrive after lunch and do the programme at six.
How long does it take to make 'They Think It's All Over?' It's just laughing at each other and thinking, 'Aren't we clever?'
I suppose to the outside world I do seem slightly obsessed. But I once had a balance problem with my inner ear, and the fear loitered. Yet I have found that golf is like a yoga procedure for me: it's had wonderful, sedative, remedial qualities for my day-to-day life.
The funny thing about the golf swing is that you try to alter it and end up with the same faults as you've had all your life.
I don't want to push barriers myself. You go to see Joan Rivers to see barriers being pushed. You watch 'Little Britain' to see barriers being pushed.
I actually found it very moving how destructive depression is. I was really saddened by this burden people have to handle.
Our comedy was light-hearted amusement that seemingly tripped naturally off the tongue. That's why I don't think it will date.
I watch the wonderful Dara O'Briain refereeing 'Mock the Week,' where they all compete with each other. I wouldn't be on that. It frightens the life out of me.
I used to have a theory in my mind that if no serious move had happened before I was 38 - not 40, oddly - then I would move into management or something. Fortunately, I was offered 'The Frost Report' when I was 37, so that was a close thing, too.
We go out of fashion but can also come back into fashion. So you've just got to hang around long enough until you are back in style.
There are many comics around who don't really have a feel for comedy. They can say outrageous things, have clever thoughts, and deliver some funny angles. But they are not genuinely funny.
In the old days, if you topped the bill one evening, you'd do 22 minutes maximum, and if you overstepped and did 27 one night, you'd get a knock on the door telling you it wasn't acceptable.
The really funny moments you notice throughout your life are very seldom generated by one person telling a joke.
Comedy taste changes. It only changes slightly, but there's always a different angle, a different attitude.
We had brilliant writers on our shows, and I do think that 'The Two Ronnies' has stood the test of time. It was certainly the greatest fun to do.
I have not survived 50 years in showbusiness by being Mr. Nice. If you are weak, this business eats you up.
When I'm stopped in the street, people want to talk about 'The Two Ronnies' and the sketches we did.