Patrick Murray
A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.Collection: Truth
Any political party that includes the word 'democratic' in its name, isn't.
The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk.
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
Repent or be damned! If you have already repented, please disregard this notice.Collection: Disregard
Yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life . . . and you messed it up again.Collection: Yesterday
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.Collection: Leisure Activities
I grew up watching my Dad, Uncles Ciaran Murray and Brendan Murray, and cousin, Aedin Murray, who were all national caliber Gaelic football players in Ireland. I try to watch as much Gaelic football as I can, it is my first love. I bleed Green, White, and Orange. Gaelic football players don’t get paid to play, you play to represent your county that is more important than earning money.Collection: Football