Mark Steel
The annoying thing about being an atheist is that you'll never have the satifaction of saying to believers, 'I told you so.'Collection: Death
As you get to thirty, the main thing is to not be sensible.Collection: Thirty
We really want to thank everyone for their kindness and generosity, even those who aren't helping us directly.Collection: Kindness
Banks aren't neutral observers, they're ... the people who caused the mess. It's like someone who's wet themselves in a public building insisting they choose which mop the librarian fetches to clear up the puddle.Collection: People
An army of experts assured us on a daily basis that this boom couldn't possibly crash like previous booms because this boom was still going on whereas all previous booms had ended.Collection: Army
Faith-healing is peculiar enough at the best of times, but applying it to football merits a special league of barking. Why would God bother to perform a miracle that enabled Sol Campbell to yell Oh holy Jesus, now I can win the ball in the air. It's been five years since I could defend from corners, brothers and sisters, it's a miracle.Collection: Soccer
Aristotle compiled the first known comprehensive list of all winners of the Olympic Games. Which means that quite probably he was sat in a bar with Plato, muttering 'Go on then, give me any year you like and I'll tell you who won the four-man bobsleigh.'Collection: Plato