John M. Gottman
In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance.Collection: Giving Up
I believe we're going to find that respect and affection are essential to all relationships working and contempt destroys them.Collection: Love
Admit when you're wrong. Shut up when you're right.Collection: Shut Up
You don't have to be interesting. You have to be interested.Collection: Interesting
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse predict an ailing marriage: Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Contempt. The worst of these is contempt.Collection: Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse
In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way. The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer ball. They kick it around. It's 'our' problem.Collection: Marriage
Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages are more likely to end in divorce.Collection: Couple
Thus, the critical dimension in understanding whether a marriage will work or not, becomes the extent to which the male can accept the influence of the woman he loves and become socialized in emotional communication.Collection: Communication
Bid for connection: Each of our daily interactions with another person.Collection: Connections
When a couple gets to the last stage, one or both partners may have an affair. But an affair is usually a symptom of a dying marriage, not the cause. The end of that marriage could have been predicted long before either spouse strayed.Collection: Couple
We move in response to our conversation partner’s face, and our brain also fires as we move those muscles and stirs the passions. Paralyzing the face is idiotic.Collection: Moving
I liken an affair to the shattering of a Waterford crystal vase. You can glue it back together, but it will never be the same again.Collection: Together
Gay and lesbian relationships operate on essentially the same principles as heterosexual relationshipsCollection: Gay