Jennifer Coolidge
Girls are supposed to be feminine and demure. Comedy isn't about that, so you just have to unlearn it. Certain women are so pretty, they can't go weird enough to be funny. You have to be willing to be ugly. I'm lucky my face can look so hideous.Collection: Women
Unless you write your own movies... you can't really say what you want to say.Collection: Movies
Dating is... weird.Collection: Dating
I always remember this neighbor who would ask me to babysit for her. She looked like Jayne Mansfield, and I remember babysitting for, like, five hours and she would pay me 80 cents, with a phony smile. I used to go home fuming to my mum.Collection: Smile
A man's ability to haggle is never a turn-on. The only thing less romantic than how much you paid is how much you saved. The last thing we want to hear is how you talked the jeweler down on our new earrings.Collection: Romantic
As a single woman, I reap the benefits of being Stifler's mom.Collection: Mom
I love that topic, the whole relationship thing, and I think that's why I love all this stuff, the Jane Austen stuff.Collection: Relationship
Cate Blanchett and others, they get this broad range of all these cool people they can play. Some women really do get it all. For me, it is the same thing that happens over and over. I should change that and maybe write my own thing.Collection: Cool
Meryl Streep was my hero. I wanted to be that type of actor more than anything.
I read a script and I know immediately whether that role is for me or not.
Hair extensions and wigs are not the same thing. Wigs are for old ladies and drag queens. Extensions are for women who want longer hair. To be safe, never bring it up if you think a woman is wearing either. No good comes of it.
Younger guy are attracted to a strong quality.
I have been able to sniff out a phony.
When it's going well, stand-up is the best thing in the world, but when it's not, it feels like all your toes are being pulled off one by one.
Physically, no one would ever consider me for the serial-killer lady.
I love Australia, and I especially love those rugby players.
I live in New Orleans part of the year, and it's a really fun eating town. I bought two homes there, one to live in and one as an investment. They love to eat, drink and dress up in costumes. There are so many reasons to dress up - Mardi Gras, Halloween, Southern Decadence.
I always date younger men. For some reason that's just the way it's gone, because younger guys have always asked me out and I accept.
If you're playing a character that someone doesn't like, that's okay, but if you're voicing your own opinions, they actually don't like you!
Gina Gershon was a year ahead of me in college.
It ends up being a terrible movie if you try and please everyone.
I always like to get a role where I think, 'Ah, I know this is probably going to be played like this, but I'm going to do it like this.'
I think I'm comedy-attractive, but it's never gonna be me and Charlize Theron up there.
There is something about a phony that creeps me out so much.
I do love to gamble; I hate to admit it.
I've made a career of taking roles that other actresses didn't want.
I kind of waited for opportunities to be handed to me. I think I was lazy, and when things didn't go right, I just said, 'Oh well.'
I am allergic to a certain kind of glue. Most eyelash glues are terrible, the glue in acrylic nails. I get a rash up my arm and face.
I was thinking, 'If I go bald, I might do something like Bret Michaels and have it all attached to a handkerchief.'
Werner Herzog, when I auditioned for 'Bad Lieutenant,' he had never seen any of my films. He thought I was this actress living in New Orleans and it was my first job.
I play so many weirdos in movies that it's nice to play an attractive woman.
Short of spending $10,000, there is nothing you can do to your head to hide the fact that you're going bald.
As young, hot actors living in Hollywood, you get even more attractive.
People have this view, 'Oh, you're in movies, your life is so glamorous' but it can really suck.
I don't actually go on the Internet that much.
I always find the most depressing stuff most interesting.
I dated a guy who played bad guys in movies all the time, and I think he was just a bad guy.
A boyfriend has so much to do with a woman blossoming.
I'm kind of harsher than most people.
When you're an actress, there are only a few times you can really get paid. One of them is doing a sequel. They can't fake you or hire another actor to play you.
The standup thing has been really fun, really seeing the United States instead of reading about it.
Standup is just dirtier, a far more risque kind of thing.
Thank God for Stifler's mom. I don't know if life would be this fun if I didn't have that.
Usually, when you're an actress, you have to audition 20 times.
I have a storage unit, as I moved out of a bigger house into a smaller house in L.A. I put all my stuff in a storage unit, where I have the most amazing collection of bad paintings, which took me 10 years to put together.
No one purposefully paints a bad painting. It's someone who's trying to do a good painting, but it's terrible. I have one with a matador, and the bull is going through the blanket. You can tell the painter didn't know how to paint it.
Keri Russell is one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen in my life. She's one of those girls that doesn't have that thing when you walk into the trailer in the morning, and your face is all bashed in - like a lot of actors, even the beautiful and handsome ones.
I hate Spanx.
I get the gold-digger part six times weekly. I can play those women into the ground, but I don't want someone telling me that's all I can do.
When I walk into a video arcade filled with 16- or 17-year-old boys, I may as well be Marilyn Monroe.