The important thing, once you get 'em laughing, is to keep 'em laughing until you're through. With a 90-minute feature, you've got to stop the laughter and then pick it up again, which is tough.
My wife converted me to religion. I never believed in hell until I married her.Collection: Wife
The likelihood of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times the direction-giver says, 'You can't miss it'.Collection: Funny
You know it is summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.Collection: Summer
Dolphins : Animals that are so intelligent that, within a few weeks of captivity, they can train a man to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them food three times a day.Collection: Funny