Drew Carey
When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games.Collection: Travel
Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test.Collection: Fitness
The hardest diet I was ever on was the one when I was fat. You can only wear fat clothes, you don't feel good, your sex life gets damaged, you don't have energy for anything. It's horrible.Collection: Diet
The easiest diet is, you know, eat vegetables, eat fresh food. Just a really sensible healthy diet like you read about all the time.Collection: Food
Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.Collection: Sports
The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.Collection: Moving
But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.Collection: Sports
As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.Collection: Government
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.
Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.
'The Price Is Right,' it was an honor to be offered it because it's such an American institution. To be able to carry on this tradition with a show that has been on for so long, I thought it was a great opportunity for me.
I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.
If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist. That was my other dream job.
Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.
I don't have a Bluetooth thing on my ear. That bugs me.
Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better.
If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.
When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.
The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job.
I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody.
I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.
You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.
I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'
When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off.
When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot.
What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.
We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.
Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.
There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.
The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them.
That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment.
People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.
Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.
Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.
Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.
I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I certainly don't think the government has to step in and set guidelines for how shows should be rated.
I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.
I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.
I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make.
Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.
Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.
But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.
As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything.
I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.
I used to go to the Cleveland Comedy Club all the time. If there was a comic I liked, I'd go see him two or three times that week. Bob Saget was one of those guys.
I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.
'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.
I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.