Carlos Mencia
I was never funny. I'd be funny once a year at Christmas. I'd do impressions of how people talked and danced, but that stopped when I was about 11.Collection: Christmas
Here's the problem: People have completely and utterly forgotten one thing when it comes to communication - intent.Collection: Communication
I could always talk about being a Latino and having a Mexican mom and a Honduran dad and being from Honduras. That was always an easy go-to place. But on the other hand, it was a crutch.Collection: Dad
If you don't like your job, then change it by getting some better skills. Until then, shut up and get my burger with a smile, like in the commercials.Collection: Smile
I don't want to go on stage with anger. And that's why I worked so hard to look within and change myself and evolve.Collection: Anger
My choices are made out of love. When I go on stage now, I want to make people happy. I mean, when I get hecklers now, I'm nice to them!
The word 'epiphany' gets thrown around, but truly, the first time I stepped on stage, I had that moment of clarity. I realized God gave me a gift, and this gift is to make people laugh, and this gift should not be wasted on trying to configure some electrical components.
I grew up poor. The fact that I had to struggle to succeed, that wasn't a big deal to me. I'd struggled my whole life.
I know that if any other comedian came up to me questioning something I did or said, it would be literally settled in a heartbeat. I love comedy. I give to comedy. I don't take from comedy.
Just because my name is Carlos Mencia, don't think my show is going to be about the difference between Mexicans and white people.
If the worst thing happening to Middle Eastern people is that Carlos Mencia is doing a joke about them being stopped at airports, that's a pretty awesome state of affairs.
The easiest thing to do is put someone in a file of somebody you already know. 'Hey, you remind me of Sam Kinison' or 'You remind me of Richard Pryor.' That's fine, because I know that's the process. Eventually, my own file will be created.
I know I'm funny.
I've dated many women at the same time. But I told them. I didn't keep any secrets from them.
For me, it's always better to tell people the truth, because people can accept the truth.
I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine. They say, 'I can't believe you talked about this - you're racist.' And I say, 'How can I be racist? Isn't racism exclusionary? If all of you are offended, that means I'm including every race in my jokes.'
It's a pleasure to be doing a show for Comedy Central. Traditional networks would cast me as the head of a household with 16 children, which I find extremely offensive because there are 18 kids in my family.
Some people want to live in a world much prettier than the one I depict. But it exists, and I talk about it because it exists.
I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh.
I choose to live in a positive world and a positive presence.
I like to look in the crevices of things, the nooks and the crannies. I like to see the things other people don't see, don't want to look at.
I never want to forget that my job is to make people laugh.
I'm a teacher and a philosopher by nature... In the end, I'm trying to teach people to live a better life. And if I can do that on top of entertain, then I leave the world a better place.
My ancestry is really weird, because my great grandfather was from the Cayman Islands, and then his father was from England. But I lose track at that point.
My comedy is about, lift yourself. See reality. Change the reality if you don't like it. But if you can't, then deal with things as they are because crying about it isn't going to change anything.
I always knew I was going to lose weight.
If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects, poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn't get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that.
'America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.' It's one of those jokes that doesn't hit people right away, because it's so prevalent that we don't get it.
Guys like Rogan literally want to ruin my career. That's unbelievably cruel and hurtful, and I never want to be that guy.
The weight loss came about because a buddy of mine who was diagnosed with diabetes because of his obesity told me that I was fat. And I started laughing, and he was like, 'No seriously, you're fat.' And I said, 'Oh wow, really.'
Here's what I know about the business I am in. It's all based on money. It's all based on ratings.
When I was younger, I was angry. I was boisterous and loud. I was on top of the mountain, screaming at everybody, 'Look at me!' Now I'm more of a Taoist.
One of the better moments in life is when you get your own car.
I am an extremist.
All this stuff that went down, the joke-stealing accusations, me not wanting to do 'Mind of Mencia' anymore. All these things made me look inside myself.
People that love me, love me. But the people that hate me really hate me.
I don't do anything out of negativity anymore.
My favorite place is Maui. It's almost perfect there - the people, the weather, just everything. No matter how busy you are, when you get to Maui, you chill and relax.
The cool thing about going to Vegas is that it's kind of like visiting a bunch of cities all at one time. All the shows and great restaurants leave you with a lot of options.
I can't imagine how unbelievable it would be to go to the Great Barrier Reef.
It's not hard to lose weight.
Shows I've done in war zones are the greatest. The first time I was in Iraq, I kid you not, I felt so uncomfortable having the troops say, 'Thank you.' It's so deep and heartfelt.
I'm just trying to be funny, trying to make people laugh, and trying to make the world a better place through some jokes. I don't have words for it. It's so overwhelming.
When I was born, I was given to my uncle and aunt to raise as their kid because they couldn't have kids.
I will make a joke about any of my family members, about me, about my wife, if I really thought that I'm doing it to be funny. If there's some darkness to it, or I think it's ill-willed or mean or not cool, then I won't do it.
People live in a place called Tornado Alley - and they're surprised when they get hit by a tornado. I'm sorry when they get hit by tornadoes, but when you live in Tornado Alley you can't really claim surprise.
I have 11 sisters and 6 brothers.
I was born in Honduras, and everything there is really chill, and people don't worry about having to get something overnighted by FedEx. Maui has that same sort of vibe, but everyone speaks English.
My birth name is Ned Mencia.
When somebody says that a comic steals jokes, it's the ultimate betrayal of comedy.