All the subject matter I talk about isn't new; all comics talk about the same things. But it's how you talk about them or present them or what you look like up there that makes the difference between an okay comic and a great one.

- Andrew Dice Clay

Collection: DifferencesCopy Quote

I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.

- Andrew Dice Clay

Collection: GirlCopy Quote

I make people laugh hard; I'm a comic, that's just the way it is. And I make them laugh because I'm funny, not because I'm filthy. The subject matter is dirty, but the pictures I paint are really funny. A lot of comics don't understand that that's what it's about. It's just, "I'll be dirty and they'll laugh." Nobody's becoming a superstar that way.

- Andrew Dice Clay

Collection: DirtyCopy Quote

You know, women are acting the way they want to act now. Years ago they would hide it in the way they dressed, the way they speak, even the way they act in bed. Today, they're doing the same thing, but they're dressing the way they want to be treated and, when you're with them, acting the way they want to act. And you know, honesty is the best policy. I love that.

- Andrew Dice Clay

Collection: HonestyCopy Quote

I loved my family so much when I was growing up, my parents, my sister. I wanted to be able to give them everything they ever dreamed of.

- Andrew Dice Clay

Collection: Growing UpCopy Quote

When I do any stand-up, you're the writer, director, and producer. You're alone.

- Andrew Dice Clay

Collection: DirectorsCopy Quote

You walk into my bedroom at night, it looks like a nightclub. There’s all kinds of lighting effects, there’s all kinds of music. I want them to feel like they’re in for a show. I believe in romance.

- Andrew Dice Clay

Collection: Romance Copy Quote