Alan Carr
It's dangerous when you start telling people they can't have an opinion on something. And, you know, you don't cancel someone, you engage with someone.
I do my own stunts. You see someone like Graham Norton would have had a stunt double, but no, I give 100 per cent to my viewers.
When things finish, you think, 'It's over' but you realise sometimes, it's just the beginning of something else.
I didn't want a ghost writer. I've got such a distinctive voice, people would smell a rat, I think.
I know David Walliams did 'Blankety Blank', and when he did that I was so jealous. I would have loved to have done that. It's sort of my sense of humour.
At school people laughed at me, not with me.
Even if people threw tomatoes at me and booed me off stage, at least you can wash out tomatoes, unlike nine hours of abuse from the general public which can affect your mental health.
Nostalgia is so powerful, and it was such an odd year, 2020.
I'm old school, when I go on stage, I want every single person in that theatre to have the time of their life. I don't want to upset someone on their night off when they've been working all week.
Everyone was a footballer in my family. My grandfather Wilf played for Newcastle and my cousins play. It's in the blood.
I was such a worrier at school. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop stressing.
I think familiarity breeds contempt. I mean, we'll never get another Greta Garbo will we? Someone would go in with a camera Sellotaped to the bottom of a tray trying to get film of her with no make-up on.
Drag queens in the UK, they survive it all - there's a hen party, a stag party, people throwing beer bottles. They work not on their heels, but on their wits.
How can you explain to Americans who Kim Woodburn is? It's just nice, for once in my life, to not be the campest one in the room.
It sounds like I work at Hallmark, but every day is a journey and you get better and that's the whole point of life.
I love a bit of 'Tipping Point'; I sit there and sometimes the dog starts watching it. It's just like the going in and out and the coins falling, it can be quite trance-like.
I mean, seeing 10 very talented interior designers is not hard work - it's an absolute joy.
Girls don't want to hang around boys talking about 'The Golden Girls'. They want a boyfriend who turns up on a motorbike, don't they?
I don't want to patronise my audience.
I think TV in general is camp. 'X Factor' is camp, 'Strictly Come Dancing' is camp. Basically, an orange man comes down some stairs and waves at the camera. People are drawn to that.
Let's be honest, you're very selfish in your twenties, and in your thirties you are just trying to get a down payment for your flat or enough money to pay your bills.
Suggesting that just because someone who is on the telly has a superior moral viewpoint to someone who say, shelf stacks at Aldi is ridiculous.
I don't really like being a celebrity.
I'm just a comedian. That's all I am. If you find me funny, good.
My mum will never ask if I'm seeing anyone; I'm not that kind of person anyway. I'm very private.
I love the buzz of doing live. I am a stand-up comedian and so I am not scared of live.
Obviously there are a lot of charities out there but with cancer you have to be lucky to have not been affected by it or not know anybody who has had it.
With Stand Up To Cancer, every penny goes to Cancer Research UK. You are playing with people's lives. I knew I needed to get as much money as possible.
You survive cancer but you have still got the emotional baggage.
To get your own chatshow, with your name in the title, my arena tour last year - that was another goal for me - I got my own radio show, again with my name in the title... Apart from rehab, there isn't really much on my to-do list!
A fortune-teller said my future lay in comedy.
I love that I'm approachable. All kinds of people come up to me.
Doing stand up helps - thinking on your feet definitely comes in handy when it's a live show.
It seems the older I get, I hear about cancer more and more but not to get too totally depressed about it all - on a positive note you do hear about people surviving it more - thanks to the fantastic work done by the Stand Up To Cancer campaign.
Explaining 'The Price Is Right' is probably going to make it sound like the most moronic show ever. I invite people out of the audience to guess the price of a series of household objects.
I'm not that good at knowing the price of things. Not because I live in a celebrity bubble, but just because I've always been rubbish at stuff like that.
There's a reason 'The Price Is Right' is on in every country in the world. It's simple, and people want to know the price of things. Plus we give away brilliant prizes.
Basically, I thought I had nothing to lose so I'd try my luck as a stand-up comedian. So even if it all failed, I was at the bottom of the food-chain anyway.
But there's something delightfully old-school about sitting in the BBC - obviously wearing a bow tie and monocle - with a co-presenter who forgets there's a webcam in there. It's also nice to hear from the general public when they're not swearing at you or asking to extend their credit limit.
Children? No, no, no. I struggle with a red setter.
I've already brought enough shame on the family without halting the family tree.
I'm a little bit naughty, not too rude and a little bit saucy. That's what I love about Chatty Man - I can just be that on my own show.
I think I have got a lot better as an interviewer. I let people talk now which is something you need to do. At the beginning I thought jokes, jokes, jokes, I am a stand up comedian but I think I have mellowed out now.
I don't like the attention that comes with TV.
I mean, I see the old interviews with Bette Davis or Joan Crawford, these characters clawed their way up - what stories.
I'm a comedian. I can't get a spray tan. I can't get a weave. I can't get my teeth done. Can you imagine if I came out on stage looking really hunky? Comedy doesn't work like that.
I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.Collection: Funny
What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig. I might as well get a piano and start an Elton John tribute act!Collection: Funny
When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.Collection: Funny
All change requires effort and sacrifice. Sometimes action plans fail because they are based on the idea that there is a 'magic bullet' which on its own can solve our problems.This is not true. Complex human problems typically require complex solutions with many different components.Collection: Sacrifice