Abe Lemons
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.Collection: Medical
You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him 'Doctor.'Collection: Medical
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.
I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick.
There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.
I don't have any tricky plays, I'd rather have tricky players.
It was a hole in one contest and I had a three.
Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.
You mean in the state?Collection: Sports
Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.Collection: Mistake
We did have three go to the YMCA.Collection: Basketball
I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.Collection: Football
They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.Collection: Sports
I don't have any tricky plays. I'd rather have tricky players.Collection: Player
If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, 'It wasn't in the rules.'Collection: Sports
You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.Collection: Sports
I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?Collection: Leadership
Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.Collection: Summer
Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.Collection: Sports
You always catch the wrong players.Collection: Sports