carnist | flesh | meat | meat-is-murder | vegan | vegetarianism


My refusing to eat flesh occasioned an inconveniency, and I was frequently chided for my singularity, but, with this lighter repast, I made the greater progress, for greater clearness of head and quicker comprehension. Flesh eating is unprovoked murder.


absurd


A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.


absurd


I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.


life


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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.


life


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AZRAEL:No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air.


absurd | atheism | humor | religion


I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.


absurd


Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK?It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday


absurd


Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.


writing


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Hello, I'm Shellie's new boyfriend and I'm out of my mind. If you so much as talk to her or even think her name, I'll cut you in ways that'll make you useless to a woman.


absurd


I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.


absurd | humor | music


I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.


life


The whole house seemed to exhale a melancholy breath of emptiness


writing


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She doesn't quite chop his head off.She makes a Pez dispenser out of him.


writing


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DWIGHT:Stay smart. Stay cool. It's time to prove to you're friends that you're worth a damn. Sometimes that means dying. Sometimes it means killing a whole lot of people.