humor

Can’t stay long, Mother, he said. I’m up front,

Can’t stay long, Mother, he said. I’m up front, the prefects have got two compartments to themselves-
Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise. You should have said something, we had no idea.
Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it, said the other twin. Once-
Or twice-
A minute-
All summer-
Oh, shut up, said Percy the Prefect.

Joshua’s ministry was three years of preaching, some

Joshua’s ministry was three years of preaching, sometimes three times a day, and although there were some high and low points, I could never remember the sermons word for word, but here’s the gist of almost every sermon I ever heard Joshua give.

You should be nice to people, even creeps.
And if you:
a) believed that Joshua was the Son of God (and)
b) he had come to save you from sin (and)
c) acknowledged the Holy Spirit within you (became as a little child, he would say) (and)
d) didn’t blaspheme the Holy Ghost (see c)
then you would:
e) live forever
f) someplace nice
g) probably heavan
However, if you:
h) sinned (and/or)
i) were a hypocrite (and/or)
j) valued things over people (and)
k) didn’t do a, b, c, and d,
then you were:
l) fucked

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